The Spirit of Christmas
by ladygris
Summary: Christmas is supposed to be a happy time of year, but Jennifer Keller just can't find the joy of the season. Can the unexpected arrival of someone from Earth help her find the spirit of Christmas?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing related to the Stargate franchise. I'm just playing in their world and using their characters for a limited time.

**Author's Note:** When the original idea for this story came to mind, it was to write a Twelve Days of Christmas story using John and Teyla. Then, I decided to add a Keller/Lorne twist. Then, in chatting with DaniWilder and working on other rewrites, this story finally changed to what it is now. I've gone with a fairly unusual pairing, but I think it's worth it to explore this one. There will be daily posts for this story, along with my Christmas Carols. This story, as well as several others, will wrap up on Christmas Day, leaving my plate empty of any ideas save getting other re-writes and series finished. :) As always, hope you enjoy! ~lg

oOo

Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell walked through the gate and arrived on Atlantis twelve days before Christmas. He took a deep breath and looked around. Not exactly where he wanted to spend his holiday season. He'd had plans to go back home, to Kansas. His brother and sister-in-law, not to mention their newborn baby, were supposed to be home. He'd planned to meet his niece and spend hours letting her wrap him around her little finger. Instead, he found himself in a totally different galaxy.

Of course, he couldn't explain the reasons to his mother. Or where he was going. Just that he'd received orders to go TDY out of the country. But, last week, his life had changed. He had a feeling it had changed for the worst, but he couldn't be sure. After all, General O'Neill, Colonel Sheppard, Dr. McKay, and several others survived just fine with the Ancient gene. Why should he do any differently? Besides, what was a few days on Atlantis when compared to the idea of flying the most advanced ships in two galaxies? The Puddle Jumpers might be small, but he still couldn't wait to get his hands on one.

"Cam." The call pulled him from his thoughts and brought a smile to his face. Colonel Samantha Carter rushed down the stairs to greet him. During their time serving together on SG-1, he and Sam had developed a very sibling-ish relationship.

He hugged her when she got close. "It's good to see you."

"Yeah, you, too." She smiled at him. "I heard you received the ATA gene therapy."

"Yeah, whatever it's called." He gave her a half-hearted shrug. "All I know is that Landry and O'Neill want me here, learning to fly these Jumpers."

"That's what I heard." She frowned as more stuff came through the gate behind him. "What's all this?"

Cam turned and surveyed the activity behind him. "Christmas," he said.

Sam blinked at him. "What?"

"Yeah, it's winter back home." He looked back at her. "Landry wanted to send something through the gate to help with morale here. We couldn't get ornaments, but we got a tree and lights."

"I'm sure we'll come up with something." She motioned behind her. "Let's let them work."

Cam followed her, eventually finding his way to the mess hall. Over the next hour, he chatted with Sam and organized a team of scientists and doctors to set up the Christmas tree. Sam put out an announcement over the city's PA system, calling for ornaments to be brought to the mess hall that evening. Cam thought it a great idea until he walked in to the mess hall to find Rodney McKay arguing with a cute, dark-haired woman over the box with the Christmas tree in it.

McKay snorted. "Please. I am the engineer and physicist. I know how to put a tree together."

"And how many have you actually put together?" she asked.

"That's not the point." McKay glared. "The point is, I'm in charge here."

Cam stepped forward, seeing the imminent explosion. "Whoa! I don't think either of you are in charge."

"Oh, yeah?" McKay turned on him, letting the poor woman off the hook. "And who put _you_ in charge? You're not even from Atlantis."

"No, but General Landry sent me with orders to deliver and _set up_ the Christmas tree." Cam nodded with his head toward the box. "That kinda puts me in charge of the tree."

"Oh." McKay didn't quite know what to think. He fumbled for a moment. "Okay. Well, I'll just. . . ."

"Hey, McKay." Cam's call stopped the dejected physicist. "Can't you rig up some sort of topper for this thing? You know, maybe make it motion activated or something?"

The wheels started turning in McKay's head. "You're kidding, right? Of course I can 'rig up' something like that. In fact, I think I could even. . .Gotta go!"

Cam watched the physicist rush from the mess hall, already pounding something out on his tablet. He shook his head. McKay might have been arrogant a year ago, but time had changed him. Now, Cam thought he might actually be able to endure a short mission without wanting to kill the guy. He turned back to the woman standing behind the Christmas tree box. "Now, where are we putting this thing?"

Another hour passed as he helped set up the twelve-foot-tall, pre-lit Christmas tree. The mess hall slowly drew a crowd, and Cam wound up being the one to roll under the tree to spread out the tree skirt. McKay returned before he finished working and set up a ladder right over Cam's legs. Cam wanted to kick it out from under him just for spite, but he knew he'd bring down the Christmas tree. When he rolled back out from under it, he felt the low branches catch on his hair. Standing up, he grinned. It definitely fit in this corner of the mess hall.

With the tree correctly situated in front of massive stained glass windows, Cam made his way to the table with coffee and snacks put out by the kitchen staff. Many of Atlantis's personnel had responded to the call for ornaments and now stood around the tree, munching on cookies, drinking coffee, and chatting. McKay wrestled with the custom tree-topper that he'd put together in the space of an hour, trying to get it to stay put. Teyla, the Athosian member of Sheppard's team, sat in the middle of the group, rubbing her unborn child and asking questions about Christmas.

Cam made his way to a chair and sat down. By putting the tree together, he'd contributed. He could now leave the decorating of it in the very capable hands of Atlantis's personnel. Major Lorne seemed to have a knack for decorating and now coordinated the efforts. Cam thought everyone had taken his arrival as an invitation to celebrate, but he caught some motion from the corner of his eye. Turning to look, he found a young woman in a back corner, separated from everyone else. Cam frowned and watched her. She seemed so isolated from the others. Several Marines tried to approach her, but she turned them away with a smile.

And what a smile it was. Cam found himself drawn from simply seeing the effect it had on her face. While it faded immediately, that smile brightened her eyes and defined her cheekbones. A man could get lost in that smile. Deciding it was time to try his luck and put her out of her misery, he pushed to his feet, grabbed one of the pots of fresh coffee floating around, and headed for her table.

"Hey, there." He offered her the coffee pot, and she held up her cup. After filling his own, he dropped into the chair next to her. Pointing at the Christmas tree, he grinned. "Quite a sight, ain't it?"

"Yeah, it is." Her voice sounded as sad as her face looked. "Look, I appreciate the effort, but I'm not really in the mood for company."

"Yeah, well, neither am I." He shook his head. "After twenty-four hours on Midway with Dr. Lee and Dr. Kavanaugh, I kinda feel the need for a little alone time. And I figured I would help you out by running off the eager Marines who seem intent on buggin' you."

She smiled at him. "Thank you, Colonel Mitchell."

"You're welcome." He sat back in his chair, propped his right ankle on his knee, and studied her. "You have me at a disadvantage. You know my name, but I don't know yours."

"Jennifer." She set down her coffee and held out her hand. "Dr. Jennifer Keller."

Cam shook her hand. "Dr. Keller, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

After gracing him with another smile, she turned back to watching the Christmas tree go up. Cam kept his word and didn't try to engage her in conversation. He knew what she wanted, and he intended to play guardian until she decided to join the party. He'd already received several surprised glances from men and women alike, and he wondered if it was because he had joined the doc or because the doc let him stay at the table.

Beside him, Jennifer pointed. "So, I heard Rodney rigged up some device that's motion activated. Apparently, he's got the entire tree on a sensor that can tell when anyone is around."

"Yeah?" Cam scowled. "I barely asked him to do that this afternoon, and it's already done?"

"We work fast around here."

"I'm noticing."

"So what is the leader of SG-1 doing on Atlantis?" She seemed intent on starting a conversation, and he decided he'd let her take the lead for a few minutes.

"I'm here as a favor for a friend." Cam shrugged. "General Landry decided you folks needed a little Christmas spirit, and I got to be the lucky messenger. That, and I need to train on the Jumpers and how to use this Ancient gene. I'm here for the next eleven days. I'll gate home and barely make it to Kansas in time for Christmas dinner."

She gave him a surprised glance. "You're from Kansas?"

"Yep. You?"

"Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin."

"Another Midwesterner." He grinned. "It's a pleasure to finally find one in the Stargate Program."

This time, she gave him a small chuckle. "There are more of us, I'm sure."

"Nope. Haven't come across any of them."

"Then you haven't been meeting the right people, Colonel."

"My name is Cameron." For some reason, the formality bugged him. "Or Cam, if you prefer."

"I'm Jennifer." She continued staring at the Christmas tree. "I'm just not really in the Christmas mood this year."

"First year away?"

"From home? No." She shrugged. "During medical school, I had a year I couldn't get home because of weather and finances. From Earth? Yes."

Sensing the sadness in her voice, he leaned forward. "Hey, it's okay to admit to being lonely, especially on Christmas. I'm sure your folks feel the same thing."

"It's just my dad and me." She shrugged. "My mom passed away several years ago. I'm all he's got left."

Suddenly, she blinked and looked away. Cam stared in fascination as tears came to her eyes. She struggled bravely, but one of them escaped. "Sorry." She quickly wiped it away. "Didn't mean to fall apart on you."

"You didn't."

"I just. . . ." She looked away from him, and he realized she struggled with her emotions. Her brown eyes took on a suspiciously wet appearance. "I wasn't expecting the impact of that statement."

Cam glanced around the room and realized that some people still stared at them. He pushed his chair back and held out his hand. "Hey, let's get out of here."

Jennifer blinked at him, her face so close to crumbling that she couldn't avoid it. Instead, she let him pull her to her feet. Cam led her from the mess hall and down a corridor, not really knowing where he was going. He hated that most of Atlantis would gossip about them, but he refused to allow her to break down in such a public place. Talking about her family was clearly difficult for her, and he wanted to make her holidays easier.

Suddenly, he realized why Landry had sent him. Jennifer wasn't the only person away from home. Not on this base. Here, in Pegasus, life could go sideways at any moment, and these people needed a reason to celebrate. But, at this exact moment, only Jennifer mattered. Her quiet conversation stirred the protective instincts he normally reserved for his team. He found a quiet balcony, led Jennifer outside, and simply watched her as she walked over to the railing. If it took all night, he'd find a way to help her smile again. And, no, he didn't want to figure out why that mattered so much.

oOo

Jennifer stood next to the railing, fighting her tears and trying to forget the man behind her. Colonel Mitchell likely thought her far too weak to be on Atlantis. In truth, she thought herself too weak. But she stayed because she'd found a purpose for her life beyond healing the sick. Maybe here, on the city of the Ancients, she could find the cure to the cancer that took her mother's life.

_I'm all he's got left_. She'd said the same thing to Teyla several months ago. While trapped in that Bola Kai cage, she'd thought she might never see Earth again. Then, after Colonel Sheppard, Dr. McKay, and Ronon rescued them, she'd had nightmares of what those men did to them. She still woke up some nights, covered in sweat and thinking some cannibal had made it into her quarters. Last night had been her lucky night this week, and she'd worked all day with a headache brought on by exhaustion.

Still, she'd lost her calm right in front of SG-1's leader. How much worse could it get? Jennifer reigned in her emotions and turned. "I'm sorry. It's been a tough couple of months."

"I've heard." He walked to her side and leaned one elbow on the railing, watching her as he did so. At her sharp glance, he shrugged. "I read reports. A lot of reports."

"Then you read about New Athos and the missing Athosians?"

He seemed to search his memory. "I might recall a report about. . . ." He blinked. "That was you?"

"Yeah."

He shook his head. "You're not what I pictured."

"What, you picture someone taller? Prettier? Stronger?" Again, her emotions threatened to overwhelm her.

"Whoa. Hold on there." He held up a finger. "I think I let my mouth run away with me. I never said any of those things."

Jennifer nodded, seeing the concern in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Colonel."

"I told you." He lowered his voice. "My name is 'Cameron.'"

She closed her eyes. The sound of his voice, lowered and sounding very rough, sent a shiver down her spine. She wanted to curl up in his arms and cry simply for the comfort of having another person close. Instead, she drew in a deep breath. "It's been a rough few months," she said again. "First, we lost Carson. Then, Elizabeth. Then. . . ." She blinked and glanced around, hating the emotion in her voice. "I just don't know that I can do Christmas this year. I was relieved to be so far away, out of touch with Earth. I wouldn't have to deal with all the hullabaloo of the season. Then. . . ."

"Then I showed up and ruined that."

"Don't worry about me." She tried to smile now that she'd explained why she had become so emotional. "That's not why you're here. I know that. But I wanted you to know why I suddenly wanted to cry back in the mess hall."

He reached out, touching her shoulder gently as he stared at her. "But what if I want to worry about you?" He shrugged. "Maybe it's time to make some new memories."

As corny as it sounded, Jennifer gratefully acknowledged the truth in his words. "Maybe you're right."

"I _know_ I'm right." He stepped back and grinned. "Now, let's get back to the party. We don't want you to miss the best part."

"And what's that?" Jennifer still felt the press of her tears against her eyes, but she knew she'd be able to wait until she got to her quarters to fall apart.

Cam grinned at her. "The lighting of the tree." He grabbed her hand and tugged her back inside, almost childlike in his excitement. "Come on, girl! Light a fire. We don't want to miss this!"

~TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Jennifer's alarm went off the next morning long before she was ready. She knew she should get up and go to the mess hall for breakfast, but the lure of a few more moments of sleep proved too strong. She rolled over, enjoying the warmth of her blankets, and snuggled back into her pillow.

The alarm blared a second time, and she groaned as she slapped at it. She didn't want to wake up. She wanted to stay asleep. After the nightmares the previous night, she felt as if she hadn't rested in a week. Maybe that was true. Maybe she'd been so worked up about what this time of year meant that she hadn't allowed herself to rest. But she couldn't help it. Everyone around here seemed too perfect, too able to press on in spite of insurmountable odds. Didn't any of them just go somewhere and dissolve into a crying heap for an hour or two?

Finally, she stumbled into the shower, dressed, and headed for the infirmary. She'd regret not eating breakfast by the time noon came around, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Last night had been slightly magical with the lighting of the Christmas tree and Colonel Mitchell's presence at her side. In spite of all that, however, she didn't want to be faced with another reminder of what she'd miss by being in Pegasus. Having her father so far away never struck home like it did now.

Midway through the morning, her radio activated. "Sheppard to Keller. Gear up and meet me in the Jumper bay. We've got a medical emergency off world."

Jennifer's adrenaline surged, and she tapped her radio. "What kind of emergency?"

"Sounds like a building collapse." Sheppard paused. "Right now, it's only Coughlin in the hole, but, from what Lorne says, his leg is pretty badly broken."

She nodded even though Sheppard couldn't see her. "I'll be ready in ten minutes. Keller out."

Amanda Cole, who overheard Jennifer's portion of the conversation, went into action. She grabbed the emergency medical kits the infirmary kept stocked for just such an event. Jennifer rushed to gather her supplies and anything that she might possibly need. Ten minutes later on the dot, she rushed into the Jumper bay in time to see Colonel Mitchell step onto the Jumper. Sheppard grabbed the stretcher that she'd had her staff bring to the Jumper bay and motioned her on board. She hurried inside and settled next to McKay, who grumbled about not being allowed to sit in the co-pilot's seat.

On the other side of the gate, Sheppard landed the Jumper where McKay indicated was safe, and Jennifer walked into bright sunshine. She saw Lorne standing heading toward the Jumper while his team stayed near the edge of a precipice.

"Hey, Doc." Lorne glanced over the group as they filed out of the Jumper. He straightened when he saw Mitchell. "Colonel."

"At ease." Mitchell waved away his nod. "What have we got?"

Jennifer glanced at Sheppard to see if Atlantis's military commander was irritated at the way Mitchell naturally took charge of the situation. He didn't seem to be.

Lorne glanced over his shoulder. "We were heading back to the gate when the ground gave way under Coughlin. He's about twenty feet down, but he landed wrong on his foot. I can see bone through his leg, and we're shouting down to keep him conscious. But we don't have any kind of climbing gear, and there's no other way in."

Sheppard headed for the ledge as Jennifer also turned in that direction. "Any signs of life from anywhere else on this world?"

"No, Sir." Lorne fell into step with them. "From everything we can find, the Genii abandoned this world years ago, leaving the underground structure intact. If it was the Genii. They're the only ones I know of who build secret underground facilities."

At the edge of the cave-in, Jennifer looked down to see Coughlin sprawled on the floor, barely conscious and covered in dirt. She glanced at the men around her. "Okay, I'm going to need to be lowered down there, along with the stretcher and one other person. I don't want to put too many people in the hole because it doesn't look like the room is that big."

Behind Sheppard, Mitchell stirred. "I'll go."

When Sheppard glanced at her, Jennifer nodded. She set her medical kit on the stretcher and climbed into the harness that McKay held for her. While heights weren't her thing, she refused to let them keep her from helping an injured soldier. Once ready, she settled on the edge and stared down into the hole. _You have to do this, Keller,_ she told herself. Finally, she gave Sheppard a nod.

Between Ronon, Sheppard, Lorne, and the uninjured portion of Lorne's team, Jennifer's feet touched the ground in short order. As Mitchell joined her, she knelt over Coughlin. "Okay, I need you to stay with me."

He nodded to her. "Got it, Doc."

Jennifer accepted the medical kit that Mitchell handed her and pulled out the bottle of aspirin. She had often thought of adding morphine to these kits, but she'd never found the time. Now, as Coughlin swallowed the pills, she examined his leg. Definitely a compound fracture, definitely going to require surgery, definitely going to be incredibly painful when they moved. She glanced up. "We need to get you out of here."

"I know, Doc." Coughlin grunted as he shifted. "And I'm not sure I'll be able to stay conscious when you do."

Jennifer smiled at him and gave Mitchell careful instructions on how they would maneuver Coughlin onto the stretcher. The audience above shifted as they prepared to lift the injured man from the cave-in. Jennifer couldn't wait to get out of the small room with dirt on all sides. From the looks of things, the Genii or whoever built this place had filled in most of the structure with truckloads of soil from somewhere else.

It took some doing, but they finally got Coughlin out of the hole. Mitchell insisted Jennifer go next, and she gladly allowed herself to be pulled up. In the Jumper, she worked to make sure Coughlin stayed as comfortable as possible. And she escaped to the infirmary as soon as they arrived on Atlantis. Coughlin needed surgery. Any residual emotions about the mission, Christmas, or Mitchell could wait until after that.

Several hours later, Jennifer walked back into the infirmary to see Lorne and Sheppard talking. She joined them. "Colonel. Major. Coughlin will be fine. He'll be out of commission for a while, but he'll make it."

Lorne let out a deep breath. "That's good to hear, Doc." He ran a hand over his eyes. "Any idea when he'll be awake?"

"Not for a while, yet." She smiled at him. "We're keeping him sedated overnight to avoid re-agitating the injury. And he'll require physical therapy, as well."

Sheppard nodded once. "Keep us informed." Then, he frowned. "And get yourself some rest."

"I will." She smiled and watched him leave the infirmary. Sheppard liked to worry about her. Somehow in her first days on Atlantis, he'd adopted her as a kid sister. Lorne had, too.

That man gave her elbow a friendly squeeze before heading out the door. Jennifer suspected he'd be back, but she knew he could do nothing for his team member at that exact moment. With Coughlin resting comfortably, she finally took the time to listen to her body. The mission that day and the surgery to repair Coughlin's leg had sapped all of her energy. Not to mention that she had yet to eat. If Sheppard knew that. . . .She tried not to think about the consequences. Instead, she checked in with Marie and left the infirmary for a hot shower and a snack before she went to bed.

oOo

Cam sat back in his chair and stared up at the Christmas tree. McKay had done a great job with ensuring that the mess hall stayed darkened so that the tree could shine. This late in the evening, the effect reminded him of home. Of snowy nights. If he tried really hard, he could imagine snow outside, not the ocean that kept him feeling slightly off-kilter.

Voices came from somewhere behind him, and Cam smiled. He recognized Teyla's calm tone, but he couldn't understand the words. Sheppard also spoke with her, and she laughed at the colonel's words. The sound of that laugh put him in mind of Jennifer as he unwrapped one of the Snickers he'd brought from Earth. She'd smiled at him the previous evening, but she hadn't laughed. He didn't think of himself as the funniest guy in the universe, but he would have liked to hear her laugh. Not see her fall apart from the stress of too many tragedies.

Just when he was about to leave the empty mess to Sheppard and Teyla, Jennifer walked through the door. Cam settled back in his chair, giving her the option of joining him or interrupting the obviously riveting chatter happening behind him. She grabbed an apple, a sandwich, and a bottle of water and headed his way, a smile on her face.

"Mind if I join you?" She stood next to an empty chair.

Rather than answering, Cam kicked the chair out from beneath the table as he set the half-opened candy bar on the table. She settled and opened the sandwich, eating it as if it was a gourmet meal. Cam leaned his arms on the table. "You know, I think I can sweet-talk the kitchen staff into making something a little better than that sandwich."

"What?" She stared at him, her eyes wide. "That's fine. I just didn't have lunch, and I'm starving after surgery."

"That's my point." He shrugged. "Can't have the CMO passing out from low blood sugar."

"I'm not hypoglycemic, but thanks for the concern." Jennifer took a swig of water. "I was late. I'll take what's left out for me."

"You were late because you were putting a man's leg back together." Cam let her finish the sandwich and start on the apple. "How's Coughlin, anyway?"

"He'll recover." She smiled at him. "He'll have to start physical therapy as soon as his leg is healed up, and he'll have pins in his leg for the rest of his life. But he should still be able to walk and fight again."

"That does it." He straightened and nudged the candy toward her. "Here."

Her eyes widened. "You're giving me _chocolate_?"

"You need it more than me." He shrugged. "Besides, my Grandma always said it was better to give than to receive, and I suppose that meant Snickers bars as well."

She accepted the candy and took a tiny bite, closing her eyes as she did so. "Do you have any idea how long it's been since I had real, honest-to-goodness chocolate?"

He leaned close, whispering in a conspiratorial tone. "I have a whole case in my quarters. I can hook you up with some more if you'd like."

She laughed then, and it echoed slightly in the empty mess hall. Cam grinned at the sound and ignored Sheppard's curious glance. He definitely liked Jennifer's laugh. If it took that whole case of Snickers bars, he planned to hear that laugh again. "So, how are you doing tonight? Besides tired?"

"Good." She turned to stare at the Christmas tree, taking another small bite of the candy. "I'm sorry about last night. All the emotions just hit kinda hard. And it has been years since I really enjoyed Christmas."

"Hey, we all have our hard times." He shook away the memories of that first Christmas after his 302 went down in Antarctica. He'd glared when his mom pushed his wheelchair up to the Christmas tree. In truth, Coughlin's situation hit close to that experience.

"More like hard years." She shrugged. "Going to college at fifteen didn't help. Everyone had their families to go home to, got all these really cool toys like new cars. And I was stuck at my parents' place because I wasn't old enough to go out to parties."

Cam nodded, sensing the warmth of nostalgia in her voice rather than the emotional wreck of the previous night. "I know how you feel. Better than you know." For a few moments, they sat in silence. The tree sparkled in the darkness, creating a sense of intimacy even though Cam wasn't looking for revelations. He thought about all the shenanigans from his youth and let another grin escape. "And now?"

"Now, what?"

"What about this year?" He shrugged. "Why not enjoy Christmas this year?"

Jennifer's eyes went back to the tree, and he saw the smile start to tip her mouth upwards. "What do you have in mind?"

He faced the tree as well. "Sleigh rides, ice skating, watching people walk under the mistletoe and realize it. All those wonderful things we both missed in recent years."

She seemed to seriously consider his suggestion. Her smile grew in direct proportion with how quickly her mind worked. Cam realized very quickly that she was a genius in her own right. Finally, she smiled at him. "I think I could do that." Then, she shrugged. "But only if you hold up your end of the bargain about chocolate."

Cam let out a laugh, drawing another glance from the other side of the mess hall. "I think I can do that." He continued grinning at her as she slowly ate the last of the Snickers bar.

oOo

Late that night, Jennifer dressed for bed, not really regretting the time she'd spent with Cam in the mess hall. She noted with a wry grin that she had already started thinking of him as "Cam" and not as "Colonel Mitchell." But she couldn't maintain that level of formality when he was throwing out insane suggestions for their Christmas festivities.

She'd learned a lot about him that day. While they'd been down in that hole with Coughlin, Cam's face had tensed as if he remembered something similar. And maybe he did. Jennifer didn't have access to his medical file, and she refused to violate his privacy even if she did. Some things weren't meant to be shared except with good friends. And, then, there was that moment during their evening chat, when she'd mentioned Coughlin walking and fighting again. Cam's eyes tightened again, and his gift of the candy bar seemed more like a reward, a "Thank you," than a gift. She still wasn't sure about the details, but it seemed that he'd gone through something pretty life-changing in the last few years. He talked about Christmas and family like he knew what it meant to lose them. Maybe he had. He was the leader of SG-1, after all.

Jennifer pulled back her covers and slid into bed, letting out a deep breath at the feel of the cool sheets on her tired body. She wanted nothing more than to simply fall asleep. Instead, images of stringing popcorn floated through her head. And nativities. And cookies. And. . . . Somehow, Cam had managed to jump-start her Christmas spirit. She much preferred this to the depression of the previous night. But she wasn't sure she truly liked the thrill that went down her spine when Cam grinned at her. That man had a natural talent for overwhelming a girl.

Jennifer let out a deep breath and felt herself drift to sleep. Grateful that she'd already told Dr. Cole to cover the early shift, she smiled. Between Cam and his steady supply of chocolate, she just might enjoy this Christmas, after all.

~TBC


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, Jennifer walked into the infirmary feeling better than she had in months. Her ideas for Christmas kept the nightmares at bay, and she dreamed of that last Christmas with her mother. While she woke sad that it was only a dream, she now smiled at the good memories. Perhaps Cam was right. Perhaps she should make new memories to replace the bad ones.

Dr. Amanda Cole watched her as she walked through the door. As Jennifer passed her, she grinned. "Snap him up before someone else does!"

Jennifer stopped and stared. "Excuse me?"

Amanda smiled. "Oh, you'll see." She left Jennifer standing there with a quizzical look on her face.

Jennifer walked the rest of the way to her office, trying to figure out just _who_ she was supposed to snap up and why. Amanda wasn't a member of Atlantis's overly-active grapevine. Neither was Jennifer, for that matter. They heard various rumors and followed up on the medical ones, but neither woman really spread them around. As a result, Amanda's instructions thoroughly confused Jennifer.

Then, she saw it. Lying right in the middle of her desk. Jennifer picked up the Snickers bar and grinned at the note underneath it. _1900 hours. Mess hall. Be ready to plan!_ She didn't have to know Cam's handwriting to know the note came from him. He was the only one on base with extra chocolate and a willingness to share. Jennifer tucked the Snickers into her desk and left her office.

"He was here early this morning, wasn't he?" she asked when she got close enough to Amanda to speak softly.

"Yeah." Amanda grinned at her. "And he was rather insistent that no one know about his little gift. I do, however, and I have to say I'm jealous. A man who looks like that, coming all the way from Earth just to bring you chocolate? Wow! I really missed something the other night by letting you go to that impromptu party for the Christmas tree!"

Jennifer smiled in spite of the blush that she felt blossom on her cheeks. "I wasn't in the mood for the party, anyway. I went because I knew I'd wind up tearing someone a new one if I stayed here much longer."

"Yeah, what was the problem, anyway?" Just like that, Amanda's focus changed. Jennifer knew enough to see that the woman hadn't forgotten about Cam. She was just concerned.

"Stress." Jennifer shrugged. "That and it's my first Christmas away from Earth. Everything hit me hard that day."

"It happens." Amanda shrugged. "For me, it was finding a place to have a good long cry."

Jennifer blinked. Out of all of her infirmary staff, Amanda was the most composed of the doctors. "Well, I didn't let myself have a good cry. I talked to someone, and it all worked out."

Amanda eyed her. "Someone?"

"Okay, I talked to _Cam_."

"Cam?" Amanda's eyebrows touched her hairline. "You're on a first name basis with the man?" When Jennifer stared at here, she sighed dramatically. "Girl, I have got to start hanging out with you more!"

Jennifer smirked and went about her day. She knew that most women regarded her with either jealousy or envy. Jealousy because three of the most eligible men on base— Sheppard, Ronon, and Lorne— saw her as their little sister and, as thus, protected her. Envy because the same three men didn't seem interested in anyone although they flirted with her, at times unmercifully. Jennifer knew she couldn't get involved with any of them without risking a catastrophic meltdown as a third of the women on Atlantis grieved at the same time. But Cam, on the other hand, wasn't from Atlantis. He wasn't stationed here, and he didn't seem to be interested in any kind of romantic relationship. And that was the exact reason why Jennifer found herself so drawn to him.

Shaking herself from her thoughts, Jennifer headed for the rear of the infirmary where Coughlin still rested. She ducked around the curtain and found Lorne sitting in a chair, his chin buried in his chest as he dozed. A sketch pad and pencil still rested in the major's hands, telling Jennifer that he hadn't been dozing for long. She tried to move silently, but Lorne still woke when she checked the machines by Coughlin's bed. "Sorry, Doc. Must have dozed off."

Jennifer didn't point out the obvious nature of that statement. Instead, she let herself really look at Lorne. "Major, you need to sleep."

"Yes, ma'am."

"I mean, now."

He rubbed his eyes. "When Coughlin wakes up, I'll get a few hours' rest."

She stared at him. "Evan, don't make me pull the CMO card and order you out of here."

"So don't do it."

They stared at each other for a few minutes, neither willing to back down from their position. Jennifer knew exhaustion and worry for his team member had put Evan in a snappy mood. Shortly after her arrival on Atlantis, he'd discovered that the Marines were giving her fits about working out and such. He'd adopted her as a younger sister, and they often argued like real siblings. Jennifer didn't want to argue now, and she briefly considered ordering him out of the infirmary.

Before she could do more than consider that, he let out a deep breath and shook his head. "I'm sorry. I don't know where that came from."

"You're exhausted." She stared at him. "You were out on a mission yesterday, and you've been in here all night long. Give yourself a break and get some sleep. I guarantee Coughlin's not going to wake up before noon, at the earliest."

"You're right." Evan stood and stretched. "Thanks, Doc."

She smiled as he touched her shoulder. "You're welcome."

After he left, Jennifer checked Coughlin's medications and reduced the amount of sedative he'd been receiving. She'd do this at regular intervals that day, slowly bringing Coughlin out of the medically induced coma. While she wouldn't have done this for a normal break, the the jostling of moving him from the hole to the Jumper to the infirmary had managed to nick an artery. She'd had a couple of tense moments when the infirmary staff thought it would end badly. She wanted to give it as much time to heal as possible. As she went back to her office, she quietly thanked God that the bleeding hadn't started until Coughlin was almost to the infirmary.

At lunch time, Jennifer took a few moments to enjoy the Snickers bar and think about what she truly wanted for Christmas. She needed to find time to take a trip off world with Teyla. Christmas gifts were a must, and Jennifer wanted something to give to Cam for pulling her out of her bad mood last night. While she wasn't sure if she'd get it, she also wanted to go ice skating. Some things just completed Christmas, and ice skating did it for her.

Coughlin didn't wake until ten minutes before Jennifer was to be in the mess hall. She glanced at her watch and briefly considered contacting Cam. Then, she shrugged. They weren't dating, and he'd understand why she was late. Lorne had returned from his nap, looking much better after a shower and shave, and Jennifer gladly let him stand by while Coughlin opened his eyes. She performed a few checks, made some notes in his file, sent an email to Colonel Carter, and gratefully escaped to the mess hall. She'd need to return to the infirmary after dinner to check on Coughlin one final time, but she was starving after only eating that Snickers bar for lunch. The Snickers slogan raced through her mind, and she grinned. _Hungry? Why wait?_ She really needed to take that under advisement.

Laughter echoed through the mess hall, and Jennifer smiled when she realized that Cam hadn't been kept waiting. Colonel Sheppard, Ronon, Rodney, and Teyla all sat at the table with him, laughing and telling stories. At least, _Cam_ told the stories. Ronon clearly found it hilarious while Rodney looked a little sick. Jennifer filled her plate, grateful for hot food this time, and headed for the table. "Mind if I join you?"

Cam jumped to his feet. "Hey! We were wondering if you were ever going to appear." He motioned her into his seat and grabbed a second chair. "I was just telling these guys about the time Vala used the Ancient communications terminal and got stuck in Jackson's head."

Jennifer snuck a glance at Rodney, suddenly understanding the physicist's sick look. It hit too close to what had happened with Cadman. She grinned. "That poor girl."

"Girl?" Cam stared at her. "You mean, 'Poor me!' I was the one in the men's locker, shaving, when Jackson— I mean, Vala— came in and started checking me out!"

She laughed at his chagrined tone. "You'll survive."

Her reaction drew a laugh from Sheppard, a snicker from Teyla, and a groan from Rodney. After taking a quick drink of coffee, Sheppard glanced at her. "How are things in the infirmary, Doc?"

"Good." Jennifer took a quick bite of her pasta, already feeling the warmth of Cam's presence right next to her. She ignored it and smiled at Sheppard. "Coughlin's awake."

"That's great," Sheppard said. "I'll have to go get his report tomorrow."

The conversation continued, and Jennifer ate her meal with a smile on her face. While she wanted to plan Christmas, she refused to interrupt the laughter around her. Just being here, with these people, made her the happiest woman alive.

oOo

Cam watched as Jennifer tucked into her meal with gusto. He hadn't spoken to anyone about her cold meal the night before, but he knew she appreciated the warm food. Sheppard watched her closely, and Cam realized that Atlantis's military commander must have overheard their conversation. Apparently, Sheppard made sure any late comers had a hot meal. For some reason, Cam appreciated that.

The jokes flew back and forth across the table, drawing laughs from everyone present. The guys tried to keep them appropriate for the ladies, but a few slipped through. The content of the jokes didn't seem to bother Jennifer or Teyla, and Cam enjoyed seeing the impish grin on Jennifer's face. It made him wonder what she was thinking.

Major Lorne appeared, also eating a late dinner, and the talk turned briefly to Coughlin and his recovery time. Lorne looked a little tired, but Cam knew that he'd been at Coughlin's bedside for almost twenty-four hours. He eyed Jennifer and wondered if the young doctor had anything to do with making sure the major got some rest. Right now, Jennifer looked anything but serious as she laughed and flirted with Lorne. For a moment, Cam thought there might be something there. But, as he watched, he realized Lorne treated Jennifer the way Sheppard did. Whether it was intentional or not, he didn't know. He intended to find out soon.

Carter eventually joined them, and Cam settled into the easy familiarity he had with her. He'd always admired Sam, and their relationship had developed into something resembling siblings. As he watched interactions across the table, he found himself hoping that Lorne and Sheppard saw Jennifer as their kid sister, not as a romantic interest.

When the conversation finally waned for a bit, Teyla leaned forward and asked, "What, exactly, does Christmas celebrate?" She and Ronon glanced at the surprised looks. "I understand there are many different traditions surrounding the holiday, but what, exactly, is it? A harvest festival? A religious holiday? Something that commemorates a great event on your world?"

"Yes," Lorne answered briefly. "Christmas is all of those. Well, maybe not a harvest festival. But it is religious and family-oriented. It also has a lot of stories and legends related to it."

Teyla looked from one person to another. "Perhaps you could tell me what those stories are, then."

Lorne looked pointedly at John, who shifted in his seat. "One of those stories is the story of Santa."

"And Jesus," Cam added.

Rodney snorted. "Please. It's about family and friends. That's it. Santa and all the other myths revolve around that."

Carter regarded Rodney with a surprised look. "You don't believe in any of it?"

"I just said I believe in family and friends." Rodney stared at her as if she'd grown a second head.

Beside Teyla, Ronon scowled. "Who's Santa?"

"And Jesus?" Teyla asked.

John motioned with his hand. "Well, Santa Claus is a fat old man in a red suit. Legend says he lives at the North Pole and rides around in a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer."

Teyla blinked at that. "Flying reindeer?"

"Yeah." John shrugged. "He also visits all the children on the same night and leaves gifts for them, eating the milk and cookies they leave out."

Lorne chuckled, a wistful smile on his face. "One year, my brother-in-law was overseas for Christmas. I helped my sister play Santa that year." He shook his head. "Man, those cookies were good!"

Teyla raised an eyebrow. "And do the children not know who truly brought them the gifts?"

"Eventually, yeah." John grabbed his coffee cup. "But the kids like the fantasy." He stood and left the table long enough to refill his cup.

Teyla turned to Cam. "And this Jesus?"

Cam, who had just taken a drink of his own coffee, held up a finger. "He's the Messiah."

"The what?"

"The One who will take away the sins of the world." Cam set down his cup and leaned forward, seeing the questioning looks around the table. "My grandma's something of a Bible thumper, so I know these stories well."

"Yet you do not believe in them?" she asked.

He shifted in his seat. "I don't know what I believe anymore." He met her eyes. "But you asked about Jesus, and He's pretty important to Christmas, too."

"And He is?"

"Well, according to the Bible, He's God robed in flesh." Cam suddenly wished Daniel had come with him. He could explain this so much better. "Basically, God took on human form and was born in a stable. His family was too poor to afford an inn or much of anything, so His mother laid Him in a manger rather than a cradle. Some angels appeared to shepherds in the fields, singing to them and telling them that a Savior had been born. So they went to Bethlehem— the town— and found Jesus lying in the manger. Some wise men also came and left gifts for him. So, that's kinda where a lot of the traditions of gift giving come from, too."

Teyla raised an eyebrow. "And how did He intend to save the world as a baby?"

"Well," Cam said with a shrug, "that's a little longer story. The basic idea is that he lived for around thirty years, traveled and preached, and then died for everyone in the world."

Teyla glanced around, seeing the respect that Jennifer and Lorne had for the story and the derision on Rodney's face. "This Jesus must have been an amazing Man. Not many people will sacrifice their lives for others."

"Nope." Cam glanced up and saw the serious expressions. "Hey, we're just talkin,' right?"

John leaned forward. "Well, it doesn't matter what we all believe about Christmas. There's a lot of traditions for Christmas, and we should celebrate them."

Without warning, Jennifer grinned, her eyes sparkling. "Ice skating."

Cam nudged her arm. "And caroling."

Lorne grinned as well. "Christmas dances." Then, he looked around. "What? I love a good party."

Rodney held up a finger. "One word: food."

Ronon straightened. "My kind of thinking!" His words drew laughter from around the table.

John glanced around. "So, we need a plan for the next few days. Mitchell's only going to be here until Christmas Eve, so we have to get things done by then."

Teyla glanced from John to Mitchell. "And that is when?"

"Nine more days," John answered.

Carter, who had been silently listening this entire time, sat up. "Well, I can arrange a Secret Santa gift exchange. We can draw names at the party tomorrow."

The mood at the table shifted slightly, and Jennifer stared at her. "What party?"

Carter grinned. "The command staff Christmas party. I sent out emails two days ago, inviting everyone. I made it a dress event." She glanced around. "You don't have to wear dress blues if you don't want to," she added for the benefit of the military members.

Cam watched Jennifer's reaction, wondering exactly why she seemed so surprised. She apparently hadn't had time to check her email, what with Coughlin's off world injury and such. Still, she straightened and nodded. But the sparkle in her eyes had dimmed ever so slightly.

The party broke up after that, with everyone retiring for the day. Jennifer said something about checking on Coughlin before she went to bed, and Cam agreed to walk with her. He saw Sheppard's nod of appreciation and knew Jennifer would stay in the infirmary all night if no one stopped her.

They didn't speak as they walked, but he was just fine with that. He wanted time to think. To figure out exactly how to get out of the mess he found himself in. Sometime during the evening, he'd gone and let himself fall for Jennifer. He wasn't naïve enough to think himself in love with her. But the draw that he'd felt the last two nights had blossomed into something much more intense. If he wasn't a seasoned veteran and the leader of SG-1, he'd say he had a crush on her.

In the infirmary, Jennifer checked on Coughlin before allowing Cam to walk her to her quarters. They chatted about nothing in particular, and he stopped just short of taking her hand in his. At her door, he took a deep breath. "I know it's just a get together, but would you let me take you to the party tomorrow evening?"

Jennifer blinked at him. "Um. . . ." Her cheeks darkened to a delightful shade of pink, and she smiled. "I'd like that."

"Good." He leaned close enough to whisper in her ear. "Sweet dreams." Then, he left her staring after him.

Cam shook his head and wondered just what had gotten into him. He hadn't felt this way since his brief reunion with Amy at the high school reunion. And that hadn't worked out so great. But, here, now, on Atlantis, he wanted to enjoy the short time he had left. Maybe he should distance himself from Jennifer, but he refused to become like Jackson and Vala.

Content with the way the night had ended, Cam retired for the evening and slept better than he had since coming to Atlantis.

~TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Jennifer trudged to work the next morning, not really looking forward to the day. She waved at Amanda, found Cam's Snickers bar on her desk, and plowed through the morning paperwork. Her first order of business was to find that email that Carter said she'd sent. Sure enough, there it was. Two days ago. Jennifer read through the requirements and shook her head. There was no way she could go to that party and not embarrass herself. She literally did not have the clothing to wear for it.

By lunch time, Jennifer had managed to work up an appetite just from worrying about the party that night. She should have expected that Carter would want to have some such gathering, especially with Cam on board Atlantis. After all, Atlantis's commander had been sharing the "Christmas spirit" since Cam arrived with the Christmas tree. Jennifer wished she could find that spirit, but all excitement about Christmas time and new memories had vanished with Carter's announcement.

Seeing Amanda eying her, Jennifer waved her friend into the office. When Amanda closed the door, Jennifer broke off half of the Snickers bar and gave it to her. She took one tiny bite and melted into the couch. "This is heaven."

"I know." Jennifer smiled. "I reacted the same way the other night after Coughlin's surgery. He'd been about to eat one and decided to give it to me. Said I needed it more than he did."

Amanda knew exactly who she was talking about. "I'm jealous." She grinned. "You've got the hottest man in the SGC providing you with chocolate, and you didn't even ask. How does that work?"

"I'm not honestly sure." Jennifer shrugged. "But I'm not turning down free chocolate."

Amanda glanced through the glass wall of the office and saw that the infirmary had settled into the lunchtime lull. "So, tell me," she said as she nibbled on the candy, "what did you do to get the attention of a man like Cam Mitchell?"

Jennifer blinked at her. "Excuse me?"

Amanda shrugged. "I've heard Dr. Jackson is almost as attractive. I want to be ready the next time a member of SG-1 visits Atlantis. That, and there are a few _very_ attractive men on our base."

"You have a thing for archaeologists?"

"No, actually, I have a thing for clean-cut military men." Amanda gave her a sly look. "But, we both know Sheppard's head-over-heels about Teyla and not admitting it. Lorne is. . . . Well, I'm not sure why he's still single. Too bad, too. And Cam's clearly taken with you. So, I have to set my sights on someone from Earth who might, one day, visit in the future."

Jennifer set down her candy. "Amanda."

"Don't worry about me." Amanda waved her hand through the air before she licked the melted chocolate from her fingers. "I'm honestly happy I'm single, right now. Doesn't mean I can't look, though."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"So, why tease me?"

"Because you're finally stepping out to notice someone, and I want to know about the guy who managed to pull you out of your medical fantasies."

"I don't have medical fantasies." Jennifer grinned and then shuddered at the implications of that phrase. "I'm not sure what I did."

"See? That's why the guys like you. You're real with them."

"So are you."

"I know."

"You just haven't met the right guy, yet."

"I thought I had." Amanda gave her a sad smile. "Turns out, he was a controlling jerk who needed a good, swift kick in the pants. Which I gave him as I shoved him out the door."

Jennifer sobered. She hadn't known that Amanda had such a past. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Amanda pushed her short hair behind her ear. "So, spill the beans. What's going on with you and Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell?"

"Nothing." Jennifer tossed the Snickers wrapper in the trash can and let out a deep breath. "Absolutely nothing."

"What's wrong?"

Jennifer stared at her second-in-command. Did she open up and share what was happening? Amanda wasn't the type to tell anyone else, besides Marie. And Jennifer trusted Marie, as well. "He asked me to go to Colonel Carter's Christmas party with him."

"And that's bad?"

"It's a dressy event, and I have nothing to wear."

"That's it?" Amanda wrinkled her nose, her sharp eyes looking over Jennifer's form. "I have a dress that'll work. It'll probably look better on you than it does on me. I'm not even sure why I brought it with me except that I was hoping I'd get lucky every so often. But, if it works, you can have it."

Jennifer blinked, stunned at the sudden change in her situation. "Oh, no. You don't have to. . .I mean. . .that's not. . . ."

"Yes, it is." Amanda pushed to her feet. "When is this party?"

"Nineteen hundred hours."

"I'll be at your quarters at seventeen hundred hours. We might need to alter the dress a bit."

Jennifer stared after Amanda as she left the office. She'd been disappointed at the idea of not spending the evening with Cam. Now, it appeared she'd get to know what she would miss when Cam returned to Earth.

She should have said no the previous evening. Jennifer knew that and didn't want to think about it. But her mind refused to shut down. Cam wasn't on Atlantis permanently. After he finished his training, he'd head back to Earth, likely leaving her heartbroken in the process. She didn't relish that thought, but she'd been unable to turn him down. Not with the way his voice sent shivers down her spine.

At precisely seventeen hundred hours, Amanda appeared with the dress over one arm and a small sewing box in the other. She walked into Jennifer's room and sent her to the bathroom to roll her hair. While Jennifer worked, she eyed herself in the mirror. As the time for the party got closer, she found herself anticipating Cam's arrival. What would he say when he saw her dressed in something other than her base uniform? While the jacket of her uniform had a nice, tailored cut, it was dull and very military-looking. That dress of Amanda's was anything but military!

With her hair in hot rollers and waiting for the right time to take them down, Jennifer put on the dress. As suspected, it was too big, but Amanda didn't panic. She set about taking in the waist and making it hug all Jennifer's curves in the right places without being inappropriate. Jennifer actually liked the way the dress made her look. The bodice gathered at the sides, giving it a ruched looked. The skirt flared and had a sheer overlay that ended just above her knees with a wide, glossy ribbon. And the neckline dipped low enough to hint at what lay underneath without revealing anything.

When Amanda stepped back, Jennifer turned and surveyed herself in the mirror. "This is amazing!"

"I told you it would work."

"I didn't believe you." She smiled. "Thank you so much!"

"Well, far be it from me to keep you from an amazing evening." Amanda looked over her with a critical eye. "Though, based on what I'm seeing, that man had better realize what he's got in you, or I might revise my opinion of him. And it won't matter how much chocolate he gives you."

Jennifer let herself laugh as she imagined the possibilities. Just that morning, she'd thought the party a massive mistake, one that would completely embarrass her. Now, she imagined every scenario to end it. A goodnight kiss. Or maybe, a slow dance. Or. . . .Her smile widened with each one although she cautioned her heart to be careful.

Rushing back to the bathroom, Jennifer pulled the rollers out of her hair. The curls bounced into place, and she finger-combed them to give her hair a tousled look. She used hair pins with rhinestones on the tips to pin the front away from her face. By the time she finished, she'd decided that she was going to enjoy this party. She'd find her Christmas spirit. And, hopefully, she'd have memories to cherish by the time the week ended.

oOo

Cam walked toward Jennifer's quarters that evening, trying to figure out whether he should have come to Atlantis or stayed on Earth. As a pilot, he wasn't accustomed to _not_ being able to fly something. Yet, when he climbed into the Jumper that morning, that's exactly what happened. To make matters worse, Sheppard took them to another planet where McKay wanted to check out some energy signature. Turned out that the energy signature was a bust, but Cam and Sheppard spent their time flying in circles around the ruins. When they finally picked up McKay to head back to Atlantis, Sheppard let Cam fly.

At first, Cam thought it was simply the different design. After all, it was an Ancient ship. Between the cylindrical design and the age, it wouldn't have as much maneuverability as a 302. Then, he realized that it should have been just as maneuverable as the 302s, if not more so, precisely because it was an Ancient ship. He glanced at the man next to him. "Hey, Shep. These things normally so. . .slow?"

"No." Sheppard frowned and reached for the controls. Immediately, the Jumper accelerated and maneuvered easily. "Man, you suck! Even McKay's better at this than you!"

Cam rolled his eyes. "Rub it in."

Behind the two pilots, McKay looked up from his tablet. "Rub what in?"

Cam and Sheppard stared at each other as Cam took over the controls again. "Never mind!" they said in unison.

Now, just as the party should have been starting, Cam stood outside Jennifer's door. He knew she'd not liked the idea of the party, but he really wanted to see her. He _needed_ a reason to forget that McKay was better at flying the Jumpers than he was. He'd work on correcting that later.

She opened her door, and Cam abruptly forgot about McKay, flying, Jumpers, and anything that required a coherent answer. Dressed in a bright red dress, she smiled at his stunned look. The wide straps covered most of her shoulders, and the neckline dipped low enough to showcase her clavicle. A thin gold chain held a diamond that nestled into the hollow of her neck in a very sensuous, yet innocent, way. The dress hugged her curves, flaring at her hips to end just above her knees. And the matching red heels she wore made those legs seem so long. Her hair swirled around her shoulders, and he saw the sparkle of rhinestones every inch or so around the crown of her head. One curl fell forward to brush her cheek.

He took a deep breath. "Uh. . . . Wow."

Jennifer flushed slightly, only accenting her creamy skin. "That's kind of the reaction I was hoping for."

"Well, you got it." He waited for her to retrieve the sheer red wrap that went with the dress. Catching sight of himself in her mirror, he scowled at his reflection. He'd brought a pair of nice slacks, dress shirt, and sport coat. But he looked almost casual compared to her.

As they left her quarters behind, Jennifer looped her arm through his. "Well, you look nice, too."

"Yeah, right!" Seeing the envious glances sent his way, Cam leaned close enough to speak into her ear. "You make everyone else look dull in comparison."

She blushed again, but they arrived at Carter's quarters. Sam let them in, sharing a quick hug with Jennifer and taking the light wrap. As the fabric fell away, Cam didn't quite know what to do. It wasn't like he was touching her back. But the dress and the evening suddenly made every little thing seem important.

Fortunately, Colonel Caldwell rescued him. "Mitchell. I heard you were coming to Atlantis."

"Yes, Sir." Cam shook the older man's hand. "It's been an experience."

Caldwell smiled and turned to Jennifer. "Doctor."

"Colonel." Jennifer smiled at the two men. "I hope you don't mind if I drop the formalities tonight. With four colonels in the room, it gets tough to tell who's who."

Cam turned back to Caldwell. "She's right, Sir."

"Mitchell." Caldwell grinned. "Drop the 'Sir.'"

"Easy for you to say." Cam let Jennifer slip away from his side, but his eyes followed her through the room. She stopped to speak momentarily with Sheppard and moved on to Lorne's side. Seeing the way Lorne admired Jennifer's appearance, Cam frowned.

Caldwell turned to see what had changed his mood. "Well, Mitchell, I'm not sure if this means much to you, but she doesn't blush around Lorne the way she does around you."

"Yes, Sir." Cam knew the older man was right. Besides, Jennifer had agreed to come to this little get-together with him, not with Lorne. He nodded. "Excuse me, Sir."

Caldwell chuckled, but Cam ignored it as he joined Jennifer and Lorne. He deliberately let his hand steal around her waist, drawing a surprised blink and a narrowing of the eyes from Lorne. Happy that his statement had been made, he looked at Jennifer. "You want something to drink?"

"Sure." She squeezed his hand as he headed for the snacks table.

After that, the party went reasonably well. Cam had never thought himself a jealous man, but he'd let that green-eyed monster rise when he saw Lorne's appreciation for Jennifer. He knew he needed to deal with it before it became a massive ego problem, but he refused to think about it during the party.

Finally, Carter called everyone to attention. "Well, as some of you know, I've organized a Secret Santa gift exchange. Whether you reveal your identity to the person you're giving a gift to or not is up to you. But each person here will draw a name from this handy bowl." She smiled as she held up a nice cut glass bowl. "Have fun with this."

"Yeah, right." Cam eyed Jennifer. "Want to go first?"

"Too late." She nodded toward the table, where Sheppard and McKay had already pulled names out of the bowl. Sheppard seemed supremely pleased with his choice, but McKay looked a little sick. "But it sounds like fun."

Letting her lead him forward, Cam found himself liking the little signs of more than just friendship between them. Jennifer had slipped her hand into his as she walked, and he found it a handy way to keep her close for the evening. Not that he had any intentions of dominating her time. But, for tonight, he wanted to imagine just what could happen if either of them transferred from their current posting.

Cam reached into the bowl and pulled out a slip of paper. Jennifer already looked at her selection, and her face went completely blank. He could almost read her thoughts. They echoed his as he stared at McKay's name. What in the universe was he going to get for Rodney McKay?

Carter called Jennifer to the side for a moment, and Cam took the opportunity to watch Teyla draw a name from the bowl. Seeing his opportunity, he moved to her side. "I got a favor to ask."

Teyla turned, her eyebrow rising. "Yes?"

"I. . .uh. . .drew the name of a person I don't know very well." He grimaced. "Okay, I don't know this person at all, and I don't have a single clue what to get. Do you mind if we switch names? I won't tell, and it'll stay between us. Please?"

Teyla glanced from Cam to Jennifer and back. "You are sure you want to trade names with me?"

Cam realized she wondered why he wouldn't switch names with Jennifer. "There is no way I want her thinking about this person any more than she has to from working on this base." He stared at her. "Please. I would owe you forever."

Teyla regarded him with an appraising look in her eyes. Slowly, her smile spread across her face. "Very well, Colonel Mitchell. I will rescue you."

"Thank you!" Cam gladly switched names with Teyla and waited until she'd rejoined Sheppard and Ronon before looking at the slip of paper. Then, he closed his eyes in frustration. Teyla had drawn Jennifer Keller's name from the bowl. Knowing the direction of his thoughts earlier, Cam let out a quick, panicked breath. Just what should he get for Jennifer for Christmas? It wasn't like they were seriously dating. Were they? She seemed completely happy with the small things, and he didn't want to develop any kind of emotional attachment outside of good friendship.

Then, another thought occurred to him. He stared across the room, admiring the way her red dress moved in and out of the people gathered. It made her hair glow and her eyes sparkle. And he wondered. Just what would a woman like Jennifer _want_ for Christmas?

~TBC


	5. Chapter 5

"So?" Amanda slipped into Jennifer's office after lunch the next day and closed the door behind her. "How did it go?"

Jennifer grinned at her. "Good."

"Based on that grin, it went better than good. Spill!"

Jennifer reached into her desk and grabbed the Snickers she'd found that morning. "Well, we went to the party, drew names for the gift exchange, and walked home." Actually, she and Cam and had wandered to one of the piers, staring at the planet's two moons and talking until late. She was tired this morning, but in a good way. All through the evening, Cam kept her close. His way of slipping his hand around her waist sent chills down her spine. Jennifer liked how he basically told everyone she was with him without saying a word. And he did so without crowding her.

Then, after the party, the walk on the pier simply ended the night on such a wonderful note. They walked hand-in-hand, with Jennifer ignoring her wrap in favor of Cam's presence. At one point in time, the fabric hit the deck, and neither of them noticed for several moments. They laughed, shared stories of their time with the Stargate Program, and let the starlight draw them closer together.

Amanda pulled Jennifer back to the present. "Are you going to share that or what?" she asked, pointing at the candy in Jennifer's hand.

"What? Oh!" Jennifer blinked and broke the candy in half. "I should just give you the whole thing as a thank you for letting me use that dress."

"Keep the dress." Amanda waved a hand and nibbled on her half of the candy bar. "Seeing you lost in la-la land because of a guy was worth it. Besides, when am I ever going to wear a dress like that?"

"I don't know." Jennifer grinned, enjoying the easy friendship that had really developed over the course of the last few months. "Maybe to the dance coming up."

Amanda frowned. "Dance?"

"Yeah. Major Lorne is organizing a city-wide Christmas dance, to be held in six days." Jennifer shrugged. "I figured I'd either ask Teyla for a dress to wear or see if I can find a different spin on the red one."

Amanda stretched out on her couch, her eyes going to the ceiling. "Hmm. A Christmas dance means one of two things. Either I get lucky, or I don't."

Jennifer choked. "Amanda!"

"Hey, I'm only really, truly crazy about one man, and he's unavailable. So I might as well settle for something else."

"What man?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Yes, actually, I would."

"No, you'll go and play matchmaker."

"Precisely."

"I'll figure it out."

Amanda grinned and then sat up suddenly. "Heads up."

Jennifer turned and saw Cam walk into the infirmary. She couldn't stop the smile that covered her face, and she knew Amanda would say something if she didn't get out of the office. She pushed to her feet and met Cam next to an empty bed. "Hey."

"Hey, yourself." He glanced around. "Can we talk for a moment?"

"Um, yeah." Jennifer looked at her office and realized what a mistake that was when Amanda waved, still holding the last of her half of the Snickers bar.

Cam frowned. "Is that. . .?"

"Yes, I shared with her." Jennifer folded her arm. "Be nice. I owed her after last night."

"What did she do last night?"

"Where do you think I got that dress?"

His blue eyes darkened slightly, and he leaned close enough to whisper, "Then, I owe her a lot more than half a candy bar."

Jennifer felt herself flush and couldn't stop it even if she'd tried.

Cam grinned at her, still invading her space. "And that's a gorgeous shade."

"Gentlemen don't notice stuff like that."

"I never claimed to be a gentleman." He stepped back and leaned against the hospital bed. "So, what are you doing tomorrow?"

She blinked as she realized that she'd scheduled herself off tomorrow. "I'm free all day, barring a medical emergency."

"Get the doc in your office to cover even that, and I'll send her an entire case of chocolate when I get back to Earth." He sounded completely serious.

"I wish I could." Jennifer stood next to him and nudged his shoulder. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I was thinkin' we'd take a little trip." He glanced at her. "Sheppard's allowing me to take a Jumper, and I thought we'd find a place with some ice for ice skating. Actually, it's going to be more than us, but I figured we could go ice skating together."

"Does this planet even have that?"

"Nope." He shrugged. "Sheppard said Teyla knows some people on a friendly planet. A place with lots of snow and icy ponds."

Jennifer met his eyes, seeing the hopeful look in them, and realized that she needed to be very careful. She didn't want to disappoint anyone, but she needed to distance herself from Cameron Mitchell. If she didn't, she would end up with a broken heart when he returned to Earth. She opened her mouth to say "no" and found herself saying "yes." After all, they wouldn't be alone all the time. Then, she glanced over her shoulder. "You know, I have other doctors who can man the infirmary for a few hours. Can I invite Amanda?"

He eyed the other doctor as she returned to duty. "Done. I'll let Sheppard know we're up one man."

"Thanks. I really appreciate it."

Cam pushed off of the bed he'd leaned against. "You're welcome. We'll leave, say, 0900?" When she nodded, he eyed her. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Staying up late, watching movies, and ignoring the world." Since she seemed intent on breaking her own heart, she smiled at him. "Want to join me?"

"I'll be there." He left then, and Jennifer stared after him. That man could overwhelm a girl in a heartbeat.

Shaking herself from her thoughts, she finished her shift and left the infirmary after getting Amanda's relieved agreement to go off world the next day. Then, she raced to her quarters and set about preparing for movie night. While she wasn't the mess that Cadman was, she still didn't keep her quarters as clean as she should. It likely had something to do with the fact that she rarely saw them unless it was late at night. By then, she usually just fell into bed in order to get some sleep. Now, she gave the room a critical look and decided that she should have kept it cleaner.

Cam arrived two hours after she got home, carrying a paper sack and two movies. He held them up. "_White Christmas_ and _The Ultimate Gift_. Your choice."

"_White Christmas_." Jennifer smiled as she let him into the room. "My mom had a thing for Bing Crosby's musicals, and it's one of my favorites."

"Good to know." He gave the movies to her and set the sack on her desk. "I stopped by the mess hall and brought some dinner since I know you probably haven't eaten."

"And how would you know that?"

"A little birdie told me."

"His name wouldn't happen to be John or Evan, would it?"

Cam just stared at her.

She let out a deep sigh. "Okay, if either of them told you that, it means you've been allowed into the circle of acceptable guys I can spend time with."

He narrowed his eyes. "You have a problem with some of the men on base?"

"Only when they won't stop asking me out all the time." She shrugged. "It usually stops about two days after the _Daedalus_ leaves. But it gets very annoying."

"I bet." He handed a foil-wrapped sandwich to her, adding chips, water, and a large salad to the growing pile of food on the table. "I would have got some dessert, but they only had Jello. After eating a bunch of it at the SGC, I decided to skip that course."

"Yeah, I don't blame you." She unwrapped her sandwich and grinned at the greasy mess of a Philadelphia cheese steak. "Oh, _now_ I know who you talked to." She'd only told Evan that this was her favorite sandwich.

Cam shrugged. "Yeah, I figured you'd find out soon, anyway."

"Why?" She took her first bite.

"He had the older brother talk with me."

She blinked and tried to swallow everything in her mouth at once. It didn't work so well, and she scrambled for her water. When she could talk again, she stared at him. "He _what_?"

"Relax." Cam settled next to her and opened his sandwich. "It's not like I scare off easily."

He started the movie, and Jennifer smiled as they ate in silence. She knew most guys didn't like musicals, and the fact that he'd picked one out for their movie night didn't escape her. She wanted to thank him somehow, but she wasn't sure what to do. Instead, she finished eating and leaned her head on his shoulder. When the movie ended, she straightened reluctantly. She didn't want him to leave, but she didn't quite know why she felt that way.

Cam glanced at her. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yes." Jennifer gave him an embarrassed grin. "I'm kinda sad the movie ended."

"I brought another one for that purpose." He moved to switch the movies, leaving the clean-up to Jennifer. She gathered the trash from their meal and put everything in the sack he'd brought with him. She liked being around him, and the simple comfort of his presence made her reluctant to let him go.

Back on the couch, Jennifer watched the opening credits of _The Ultimate Gift_. Her long week caught up with her, however, and she felt her eyes slip closed about ten minutes into the movie. She fought them for another ten minutes, finally laying her head on Cam's shoulder and surrendering to sleep.

oOo

Cam felt Jennifer's weight shift and glanced down at her. She'd leaned her head against his shoulder, much to his delight, and now slept soundly. Faced with the choice of moving her head to a more comfortable position and waking her or letting her rest, he chose the latter of the two. As long as she could handle the odd angle, he could massage the sore muscles when she woke up.

The movie continued to play in the background as he thought about why he liked that idea so much. Last night, Jennifer had moved from simply an interesting person to one enchanting woman. He still struggled to breathe every time he thought about her wearing that dress. Reining in his thoughts, he forced himself to consider all of the implications of letting this relationship continue. He worked at the SGC, on Earth, as the leader of SG-1. Granted, Sam now served on Atlantis, and Teal'c spent more time with the Jaffa than on Earth. Cam knew his days as the leader of the legendary members of SG-1 were numbered, and he didn't think he could handle commanding a team that wasn't Sam, Jackson, Teal'c, or Vala. Yes, the feisty alien had grown on him. Still, maybe it was time to consider a change of pace, both for himself and for the team.

He couldn't make that decision for his team. Cam realized this as Jennifer shifted on his shoulder. He held still while she settled back into sleep and glared at the movie playing across the screen. As much as Teal'c preferred to work with the Jaffa and Daniel wanted to pursue a more archaeological slant to his career, Cam refused to just up and quit SG-1. Sam's appointment to Atlantis aside, no one just quit. There had to be good reason.

Jennifer shifted again, this time pulling him from his thoughts with a short gasp and then a whimper. Cam stared down at her, wondering just when her peaceful sleep had changed into something so upsetting. Before he could do anything, she let out a short scream and sat upright on the couch. The scream ended as her eyes opened, and she blinked at the room. When she looked at Cam, he wanted to find the person responsible for that fear and kill him barehanded.

She frowned. "Sorry. I don't always wake so suddenly."

"Hey, don't worry about it." He realized that he wasn't going anywhere just yet. "Nightmares are part of the job."

She nodded at him and excused herself to the restroom. While he waited, Cam found her stash of movies and loaded the first one he recognized. _How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days._ Sounded good to him. At least, Kate Hudson resembled Jennifer ever so slightly. _Well_, he though, _she's blond._

Jennifer settled back on the couch, smiling at his choice, and leaned her head back on his shoulder. Cam moved to put his arm around her and felt his heart flip-flop when she snuggled into his chest. _Yeah, good one, Mitchell_, he thought. _Go fall for a girl who lives an entire galaxy away._

Jennifer drifted back to sleep within minutes, her face free of the fear from moments ago. Cam held her close as the movie played, letting her warmth seep into him. He blinked and frowned. When had Jennifer slipped an arm around his waist while she slept? He must be more tired than he thought.

By the time Matthew McConaughey kissed Kate Hudson after chasing down her cab, Cam and Jennifer slept peacefully on the couch.

~TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** So, I'm posting this chapter a bit late in the day, and for that, I apologize. I had a family gathering at my home today, and it just took up a lot of time. But, it's over, and I'll have the next few days to do nothing but write and sleep. :D As always, hope you enjoy the chapter! ~lg

oOo

Something was wrong. Cam knew it the moment he woke. He stiffened but didn't move when he felt the warm body pressed into his side. He cracked his eyes open and scowled. Jennifer still slept on his chest, and the menu for the movie played on the TV. His eyes tried to close, but he forced them open. Why was he lying on the couch in Jennifer's room, sleeping while the movie played? He must have been more tired than he thought.

Dropping his head onto the back of the couch, Cam stifled a groan. Falling asleep at Jennifer's had nothing to do with trusting her. It had nothing to do with holding her. _Well,_ he amended that thought, _maybe a little._ Truth be told, he was downright exhausted from flying that crazy Jumper that didn't want to do what he asked it to do. Sheppard's comment about McKay the other day hadn't helped Cam's desire to master any type of flying machine. He'd pushed himself until he just couldn't keep going. Then, he'd stayed up entirely too late, watching movies with Jennifer.

Squinting at his watch, Cam realized it was only 0130. He had over seven hours before he had to be ready for the trip off world. Grabbing the TV remote, he turned off the annoying noise and settled back into the couch. Jennifer stirred and sat up, clearly surprised by the late hour and sudden quiet. She blinked up at him, and he suddenly grinned. He wasn't happy that he'd fallen asleep, but he certainly didn't mind seeing that sleepy expression on her face.

It vanished a second later. "Cam?" She looked around. "Oh, I am so sorry! I didn't realize I was so tired."

"Don't worry about it." He straightened. "I'm not complainin.'"

She flushed and used the heel of her hand to rub her eyes. "Still, I shouldn't have fallen asleep on you. Not when we've got that big outing tomorrow."

He glanced at his watch. "Try later today."

"What?" Her eyes grew even more round when she saw the time. "Wow! I must have really been tired!"

"Well, then, why don't I clear out and let you get some more rest before we head off world." He pushed himself to his feet. "From what I understand, there's a decent group of us going."

Jennifer smiled then, her sleepiness fading in light of the coming trip. "I'll see you in a bit."

"Okay." Cam almost kissed her, but he decided against it as he left her quarters. He quickly hurried to his guest quarters through the silent corridors. His irritation at falling asleep on her couch might have faded, but he still needed some time to himself. He needed to get his head in the right place, or he'd never be able to leave when the time came. Somehow, he wasn't so sure that would be a bad thing. Not anymore.

oOo

Hours later, Jennifer walked to the Jumper bay still trying to hold her head up. She hadn't had a guy stay the night at her place since. . .well, ever. She knew that Atlantis's very active grapevine would likely go into overdrive when it discovered that Cam hadn't returned to his guest quarters until well after midnight. But, at this exact moment, she couldn't complain. The man stood just outside a Jumper, dressed in winter wear, and laughing with Lorne and Sheppard. Jennifer could listen to him talk, laugh, and joke no matter where she was. Instead of following through with her initial impulse to join Cam, she forced herself to walk into the Jumper. Amanda met her inside, and Jennifer settled into the seat next to her.

Amanda leaned close to whisper, "You look happy."

Jennifer glared. "More like ready to jump out and just stay here."

"You practically live in that infirmary." Amanda's eyes tracked someone else as she spoke. "Get out and live a little."

Jennifer turned to see who Amanda watched and blinked. Evan had just walked into the Jumper and was busy storing a few supplies in one of the overhead compartments. Rather than commenting, Jennifer grinned. So, the mystery man that Amanda had a thing for was Lorne. Given that she and Lorne were good friends, Jennifer wondered if maybe she should do something about it.

Cam dropped onto the seat next to her. "Do I want to know why you're grinning like the cat that ate the canary?"

"Probably not." She turned her back slightly to Amanda and leaned close to Cam. "I just figured out that one of my friends has a thing for another of my friends, and I'm thinking about spreading a little Christmas cheer."

He blinked at her, his eyes taking in the position of everyone in the Jumper. Sheppard sat in the pilot's seat, with Teyla next to him. Lorne stood in the doorway between the two, and Amanda did her best not to stare at him. Given the fact that Cam and Jennifer were the only other couple in the Jumper, it wasn't difficult to deduce her meaning. As his grin spread across his face, Jennifer nodded. "Now you see what I mean."

"Yep." Cam eyed her. "Let's see if the two of them figure it out."

She agreed as Sheppard dropped the ship into the gate room and piloted it through the gate. On the other side, an icy world greeted them, and Jennifer pulled her gloves from her pockets. Cam had said they were going ice skating, but she wasn't sure exactly how they'd do that when they didn't have any skates. Either way, this group seemed in high spirits, and she resolved to enjoy her time off world rather than thinking about the nightmare she'd had last night. At least Cam had been there to scare off the bad guys.

Sheppard set the Jumper down a short distance from a village, and Teyla led the way as they walked into freezing temperatures. The village looked like something straight out of a medieval Nordic legend, and Jennifer smiled. Even if they couldn't go ice skating, there was enough snow here to have a decent snowball fight.

The village leader met them and welcomed all of them. When Sheppard explained their reasons for coming to the planet, the leader gave a few orders. Apparently, the village didn't get many visitors beyond traders. Before she really knew what had happened, Jennifer found herself carrying a pair of medieval ice skates back toward the Jumper while Sheppard called for her and Cam to "have fun."

In the Jumper, Cam settled into the pilot's seat. The ship came to life, and he flew toward a lake some distance from the village. It seemed that the men of the village went there to fish on clear days. Today, with low clouds roiling around, the villagers had warned that they might only have a couple of hours before the weather turned nasty. Sheppard asked that they be back by then, and Cam happily agreed.

Once on the ice, Jennifer slipped and landed on her behind before she fully realized what she'd done. Cam glided across the ice and stared at her, his expression something between concern and amusement. He braced himself and helped her to her feet. As she rubbed her tailbone, she laughed. "It's been a long time since I went ice skating."

"I can tell." Rather than letting her hand go, he pulled her with him across the ice. "Doing okay?"

"Yeah, thanks." She nodded once. At that exact moment, her feet went in opposite directions. Cam laughed and steadied her again, this time pulling her close. Jennifer suddenly realized just how irresistible this man could be up close. His warm breath caused puffs of white to appear in the air, and he held her arms as she found her feet again.

"You know," he said, not moving away, "I really want to kiss you right now."

_Then why don't you?_ She wanted to ask the question, but it froze in her throat. Instead, she smiled. "Really?" She immediately wanted to find somewhere to hide until she stopped stinging from the embarrassment that caused. The most attractive man she knew wanted to kiss her, and that was all she could say?

He obviously didn't notice her embarrassment. "Yeah. Really. Though, I'm not sure this is exactly the kind of weather for a first kiss."

Jennifer looked around. The clouds seemed closer, and snow had begun to fall. "Ice skating may not be such a good idea today."

"I'm thinking not." He looked around. "Just one lap, and then we head back."

She let him hold her hand while they moved across the ice. About halfway through the first lap, she found her stride and let go. They completed two more laps before Cam called a halt to their little get-away. They needed to get off this mountain before the snow became too severe.

The weather cleared slightly as they approached the village, and Cam set the Jumper down in its original position. Jennifer walked back into the snow and stopped so suddenly that he bumped into her. Rather than speaking, she pointed.

Amanda and Lorne walked side by side, sharing what must have been riveting conversation. As they watched, Amanda laughed. Jennifer smiled. She hadn't heard Amanda laugh like that in some time. Even if nothing came of her friend's attraction to Evan, she was grateful she'd asked Amanda to come.

Then, movement caught her eye. She realized that Sheppard had also seen the couple, and he had decided to interrupt in a not nice way.

"Oh, no." Cam had seen Sheppard's intentions as well. Before either of them could call out a warning, Sheppard lobbed the snowball he'd spent far too long forming. It smacked Lorne squarely in the back of the head. Evan froze, clearly shocked at the snow sliding under the neck of his coat. Then, much to Amanda's amusement, he grabbed another handful and threw it back at his CO.

Cam chuckled. "Well, that's different."

"What? A snowball fight in Pegasus?" Jennifer considered some of the stuff they'd encountered. "Yeah, that's pretty different."

"So, do we watch or get involved?"

She heard the laughter coming from Sheppard and Evan and gave Cam a mischievous grin. "You're advocating not joining a snowball fight?"

"Well, I wanted to give you the option of laughing at your friends."

Rather than replying, Jennifer dropped to her knees and gathered up a handful of snow. As Cam watched, she took aim and threw the snowball toward one of the women watching the other two men. The snowball hit Amanda in the shoulder and drew the other doctor's fire.

For the next twenty minutes, most of Atlantis's command staff ran around in the snow like children, laughing and joking like they hadn't done in months. Several village children joined them, and men and women from the village watched and laughed. Jennifer found herself giggling like a schoolgirl and didn't want the happy day to end.

And the weather continued to worsen. The first gust of wind went unnoticed, but the second one, accompanied by a howl, didn't. Sheppard called a halt to the snowball fight and glared at the sky. Jennifer had never seen a blizzard build so quickly, but they were in another galaxy. This storm went from a few howling gusts of wind to full-blown blizzard in the time it took the villagers to escape to their homes.

In the main hall of the village, Cam glared out the window. "Now what?"

Teyla stepped to his side and shrugged. "We should likely stay here for the evening."

"I agree." Sheppard shed his thick coat and shook the loose bits of snow from the shoulders.

The door opened, blowing in bits of snow along with the village leader. "I have spoken to my people. We would be honored to have you stay with us this night."

Sheppard eyed all of them before nodding. "Sounds good." He surveyed the group. "Mitchell, you and Keller stay together. Lorne, stay with Cole. Teyla and I will be in the third home."

Jennifer knew what Sheppard had done. He'd instinctively separated them in such a way that each of the women had a military man with her. It amused her that he had separated them into couples based on attraction as well. As she followed Cam back into the blizzard for the few moments it took to walk toward the home of their hosts, she smiled. Amanda would likely be all aglow tomorrow when they returned to Atlantis.

In the warmth of the small house, Jennifer gratefully shed her snow-covered clothing and hovered over the fire. Their hosts introduced themselves as Braeden and Verina. Conversation seemed stilted at first. Then, the Braeden asked Cam about the Jumper. Cam answered to the best of his ability, and Jennifer found herself smiling as she helped her hostess set the table.

By the time she retired to her small pallet next to the fireplace, she was thoroughly exhausted. She'd envisioned ice skating as a day-long affair, not something that lasted thirty minutes. She had never intended to have a snowball fight like the one they'd had with Sheppard and Lorne. And she knew she'd always remember this day as something very special. She drifted to sleep, smiling and unaware that Cam watched her from his corner.

~TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** Contains spoilers for SG-1 "Avalon, Part 1," and "Collateral Damage." Also contains spoilers for SGA "Sunday," "Adrift," "Lifeline," "Missing," and "The Seer." For those of you waiting for my next Carol, it will be up today, just likely late this evening. I've encountered some issues with it that take time. As always, hope you enjoy this chapter. ~lg

oOo

A whimper woke Cam around midnight. He'd been sleeping lightly beside the stairs that led to the upper portion of the house. While Sheppard and Teyla trusted these people, he didn't know them. And he was in the field. That, combined with inadvertently falling asleep at Jennifer's the night before, made him nervous. Now, the fire had burned down to a few glowing coals that barely warmed the room. When he first woke, he thought he'd been dreaming. Then, Jennifer twitched on her pallet.

Cam pushed himself to his feet and crouched over her as she obviously dreamed. Her face scrunched into a horrified mask, and she attempted to speak. It came out through clenched teeth. Her arms moved as if she struggled against something or someone. Cam reached out to touch her shoulder, hoping she'd wake as easily as she had the previous evening. When that didn't work, he shook her slightly.

Jennifer woke with a full-blown scream as she sat bolt upright. Cam grabbed her shoulders to keep her from hitting him. "Whoa! Hey! It's me."

She blinked, her face covered in sweat and her hands shaking as she came out of the nightmare. "Cam?"

"Yeah, it's me." He brushed her hair from her face. "I'm right here."

She climbed into his arms and buried her face in his chest. Her arms went around his waist, and she grabbed fistfuls of his shirt. He felt her tremble and wrapped his arms around her.

Noise behind him made him crane his head around. Their host, Braeden, stood on the steps, lantern in hand as he stared at the scene. "Is she ill?"

Cam shook his head. "Nah. Just nightmares. We, uh, see a lot." When Braeden hesitated, he waved him away. "She'll be fine."

Jennifer didn't ease back until after the man went back upstairs. She had finally stopped trembling, but she carried tension in her shoulders and hands. Cam stirred the coals of the fire and added a couple of logs as she drew her knees up to her chest. Wrapping her arms around her knees, she stared into the flames. "I'm sorry."

"Hey." He reached for her blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders, leaving his arms around her as he did so. "No one is going to fault you for a few bad dreams."

She nodded once and snuggled into his chest. Cam made himself comfortable beside her, willing to be her support while she recovered. He knew from experience that nightmares could wreak havoc on a person's mind. When she showed no sign of letting him go, he shifted position until he leaned against the wall, allowing her to look into the fire.

What did he do now? He thought back to his own nightmares, to those times when his memories and the what ifs robbed him of rest. They'd hit right after he dropped that bomb on the convoy of refugees. And again after his 302 went down. He'd had a few since joining SG-1, particularly after that incident when he'd been framed for murdering an alien doctor. But none of the dreams since joining SG-1 had rivaled the previous two incidents. Of course, he hadn't been held hostage by cannibalistic aliens who wanted to know where he was from.

Sensing that she'd calmed enough that his voice wouldn't frighten her, he stirred. "Want to talk about them?"

"No."

Cam smiled at the firm belief in that answer. "Look, I'm all about keeping secrets. If I wasn't, I wouldn't have joined the SGC. But some secrets can hurt us if we don't talk about them."

She stayed silent for so long that he thought she wouldn't answer. Finally, she let out a deep breath. "I keep seeing them."

"The Bola Kai?"

"Elizabeth." She shrugged. "And Carson. And Kate."

Her use of names surprised him. She referred to members of the Atlantis Expedition that who had recently died or disappeared.

Then, she chuckled mirthlessly. "And the Bola Kai."

He wasn't sure what to say to that, so he continued to hold her close. She seemed willing to talk in her own time. As a physician, she understood that harboring such things so close could harm her in the long run. He just hoped he didn't have to pry the truth from her.

"Do you know what happened with Elizabeth?"

"I read the report."

Jennifer shook her head. "She was dying. I had to do something. And it was the only thing I could do. And, because of that, she's dead."

"You don't know that."

"Actually, yes, we do." She lifted her head. "Shortly before our attack on the Replicator home world, someone contacted the Alpha site. It was a Replicator-built, fully human replica of Elizabeth, complete with all of her memories. The real Elizabeth died shortly after she was captured by the Replicators. And it's my fault."

"No, it's not." Cam moved so that he could look her in the eyes. "Jennifer, you risk your life every day just being on Atlantis. So does Sheppard, Teyla, McKay, Lorne, Amanda, and anyone else there. So did Dr. Weir. Her death is not your fault."

"If I hadn't pushed Rodney to reactivate the nanites, she would have stayed on Atlantis."

"And what would have happened then?"

She let out a deep breath. "She would have died." After another breath which sounded terribly close to tears, she said, "But Kate was someone I could possibly have saved. If I'd only known. . . ."

"Known what?"

"How to get that entity out of her." She shrugged. "It was something Colonel Sheppard brought back from another world, and I thought it might feed on our fear. I didn't know how far it would go, but I should have tried to find a way to help. Pushed a little harder. But I didn't want to face that again. Not with the nightmares that produced the fear it fed on."

"How did you get the entity out?"

"It was vulnerable to electric shock." She shrugged. "When it sent Rodney into cardiac arrest, I called for a crash cart. It jumped to Sheppard, and Rodney put two and two together. But it was too late to save Kate."

"Did you know this entity was in Kate?"

"No." She frowned at him, tears standing in her eyes. "But I still should have found a way to help her. I could have. . .have. . . ." She couldn't finish the sentence. A few tears escaped and trickled down her cheeks, leaving him wanting to fight anything just to keep her from crying again. But, at the same time, he knew she needed to break. That she needed to let go of the guilt. Just as he pulled her back to him, she pulled in another breath of air as if she were drowning. "And, of course, the Bola Kai keep coming back. They just keep coming, and I can't fight them! I can't get them out of my head!"

With that, she broke completely. Cam held her as she sobbed into his chest. Her cries weren't quiet, and he heard their hosts moving around upstairs. He hated that they had disrupted these people, but Jennifer needed this. If it took a restless night and angry hosts, then he'd gladly endure whatever ire he brought on them. So long as Jennifer dealt with the memories that haunted her.

As she cried, he remembered those dark nights following the convoy's destruction. He remembered dreaming that he heard their cries as the bomb exploded. In his dreams, he didn't press the button and the bomb dropped anyway. Any variation except what had actually happened and, even then, a few that were totally unreasonable raced through his dreams. He experienced the same thing after his 302 went down. But he found a way to get back up. The breaking period wasn't easy. He had finally found a place to scream until he couldn't speak anymore. Then, the tears started.

For Jennifer, she skipped the screaming and went straight to the tears. Cam suspected it had something to do with her gender rather than her personality. Tightening his hold on her, he thought she'd cried herself to sleep when she quieted some time later. He glanced down and saw her eyes staring at nothing and slowly blinking every few moments. Knowing that she needed more than a good cry, he took a deep breath and started talking.

oOo

"Several years ago, I was flying missions over the Middle East."

Jennifer lifted her head from Cam's chest and blinked. She wasn't sure what he was talking about, but something in his quiet tone told her that this was important.

"We had intel that a terrorist was traveling in a convoy. I was tasked with flying over the convoy and eliminating the target." He shook his head. "I asked several times if we were sure whether or not the target was in the convoy, and the word came back that he was. I dropped the bomb. No sooner had it left my plane than Mustang Leader told me we had lost our confirmation. The entire convoy was destroyed."

"Who was in it?"

"A group of refugees."

"Oh, Cam." Jennifer felt tears burn in her eyes again, this time with the understanding that he'd experienced the same thing she had. It drew her closer to him. She laid her head on his chest and slipped her arms around his waist. "I'm so sorry."

"Point is," he continued, tightening his hold on her, "I understand. I've had those nightmares, too. As much as I'd like to think it was, what happened wasn't my fault. Yes, I dropped the bomb, but I was under orders. The mistake— if that's what it was— wasn't in my actions. It was in the actions of the person who fed us faulty intel in the first place."

Jennifer listened to his heart beat as he held her close. She knew why he told her that story. He wanted her to understand that she wasn't to blame for Elizabeth's death. Or Kate's death. After all, she'd merely been trying to save lives. But, as a doctor, she still felt the sting. "I wish I could believe that."

"You can." He shrugged. "It takes time, and I don't expect tonight to be a one-time fix. But, Jen, listen to me when I say you can overcome _anything_."

She frowned, sensing the bedrock of belief under that statement. "Why do I get the feeling you've put that belief to the test?"

"Because I did." He stayed silent for a time, and Jennifer thought he might not continue to share. After all, he'd already revealed what was likely the worst experience in the entirety of his career. Cam Mitchell wasn't afraid of anything, but he didn't lay bare his darkest secrets lightly, either. Finally, he stirred. "I was a 302 pilot when Anubis attacked Earth. During the dogfight over Antarctica, my plane went down. I was told I would likely never walk again. Yet, here I am. Walking, talking, and doing something I love."

She lifted her head to stare into his eyes. He didn't look at her, choosing instead to watch the flames. "Why are you telling me all this?"

"Well, my grandma used to say that confession is good for the soul." He finally looked at her and shifted into a more comfortable position. "I don't know how true that is, but I want you to know that I'm here for you. I understand. And I'm not going to let you give up."

Jennifer turned to stare into the fire. She wanted to accept the invitation to share the nightmares that kept her awake more often than not. But she didn't want to reveal just how weak she really was. How often she struggled to stay strong when Sheppard or Lorne or anyone else came to the infirmary with wounds beyond her capability to heal. For crying out loud, right after she was rescued from New Athos, she was asked to help a man dying of a virulent form of cancer. In the end, all she'd been able to do was make him comfortable for his last days. Failure after failure after failure. That's what she thought of herself, and she didn't like others to know it.

Then, she frowned. Cam had opened up and shared exactly why Coughlin's injury impacted him. Why he saw her as strong enough to make it. Maybe she needed to return the favor, and not just for him.

"I see them. The Bola Kai." She shrugged as he moved to spread her blanket over his legs. "They always have us in the cage. And they always take Teyla away. I can't stop them, and it's tearing me apart to think that I'll never be able to see beyond that again."

Cam didn't respond. He didn't try to interrupt. He just let her talk, listening as she spilled nightmare after nightmare from her time with the Bola Kai and the days before or after that. In the end, she dissolved into tears again, but it was quieter. Softer. This time, as he held her, she felt something in her give way to the healing power of knowing that another person understood what she'd been through and cared enough to listen to her.

She fell asleep to the sound of the fire crackling back to embers and Cam's heartbeat under her ear.

oOo

Upstairs, Braeden settled back into bed next to his wife. Verina rolled to face him. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes." He reached out and pulled her close, touched by the scene he'd just witnessed. "The young healer has seen too much darkness in her days, and her protector seeks to take that pain from her."

Verina lifted her head from her pillow. "Does he?"

Braeden smiled. "Don't get any ideas, Wife. They're leaving as soon as this storm ends."

"So long as there's peace once again."

"There is." He waited while she settled back onto his shoulder to sleep. Downstairs, the young healer's cries faded, and he heard nothing else for the remainder of the night. But he did not sleep. How could one so young have seen so much heartache? How did one so young find such strength that she continued fighting the Wraith and whatever else those from Atlantis faced? While he'd first discounted the Lanteans' statement that she was their chief healer, he now understood why she had been chosen for that honor. A woman with such strength could only be an asset to her people. He just wished she saw that in herself, and he suspected that her protector would find a way to show it to her before much longer.

Content with life, Braeden settled into sleep, allowing the raging blizzard outside to drown out any further troubles for the night.

~TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Jennifer woke the next morning to the sound of Cam's steady heartbeat right beneath her ear. She blinked eyes that didn't want to stay open, and the fuzzy image of Verina moving toward the stove jump-started her brain. She reluctantly pushed away from Cam, seeing the grin he gave her before allowing her to escape his hold. While the fire had been stoked sometime since their late-night talk, Jennifer had no recollection past telling Cam about her nightmares.

With Cam's warming arms no longer around her, Jennifer shivered from the chill of the room. The fire hadn't been going for long, and the corners remained dark. Verina kept her back turned, and Cam jumped up to stretch. Jennifer wished she could do the same thing, but she simply stared at the fire as she pulled the blanket closer to her. She supposed her midnight conversation with Cam could be considered "romantic," but it didn't seem so at the time. Right now, she simply wanted to curl into a ball somewhere and sleep.

Verina finally turned from the stove and smiled at Jennifer. "I have some clothing upstairs for you, if you'd like to change."

Jennifer understood the unspoken message. She looked awful, and her clothing was dirty, wrinkled, and needed to be washed. Rather than getting upset at the woman, she stood and smiled gratefully. "That sounds absolutely wonderful."

Verina led her upstairs to a small room in the corner of the house. The room had a slight chill, but a fire also burned in there. Water heated on the fire, and Jennifer stared at a classic, medieval bathtub made of something resembling cast iron. Rose petals sat in a bowl next to the tub, and steam rose from the tub. Verina smiled. "My Braeden is something of an inventor. He created a way to bring water from our well into the house. All that is needed is for it to be heated over the fire, which he has done." She pointed out clothing and turned to leave.

Jennifer touched the woman's arm as before she could leave the room. "Thank you. For all of this. You've been so kind to us, and I've. . .I'm just really grateful."

Verina nodded. "Sometimes, we all need a friend, Jennifer. And sometimes we need a place to feel safe enough to let those friends close to us. I am glad I could provide this."

Jennifer watched as the woman left. A towel sat next to the bowl of rose petals, and a robe hung on a hook. Jennifer eyed the window covered with a thick cloth and realized that she didn't really care if the window was open. The hot water in the tub was too inviting. She quickly shed her dirty clothing and slipped into the water, sighing with relief as it soaked into her body.

By the time she'd used the scented shampoo to wash her hair and allowed the water to prune her skin, Jennifer smelled something delicious coming from downstairs. She reluctantly rose, shivering, as the now-lukewarm water splashed slightly. She slipped into the robe and grinned when it swallowed her small frame. The fabric wasn't the nicest, but it still fell in elegant folds around her feet, reminding her of all the fairy tales of princesses and knights in shining armor.

Shaking the thoughts from her head, she dressed quickly in the clothing Verina provided and headed for the stairs. She wasn't accustomed to wearing such a long dress, so she paid special attention to climbing down the steep stairs. After last night's confessions, she didn't want to land in a heap at the bottom of the stairs, forcing Cam to rescue her yet again.

Breakfast was a simple affair, with a hot cereal resembling oatmeal paired with some sort of meat. Jennifer wasn't sure what it was, only that it tasted amazingly good. She wondered if the cold the previous day or the midnight breakdown had created such an appetite. No matter what it was, she gratefully accepted another small bowl, much to Cam's approval. The man likely believed, as Sheppard and Lorne did, that she didn't eat enough.

After the morning meal, Jennifer helped Verina collect the dishes and straighten the kitchen area while Braeden escorted Cam upstairs. A short time later, Braeden returned and headed outside to prepare more firewood. Having lived in Wisconsin and experienced weeks without power due to snow and ice, Jennifer knew that firewood needed to be cut.

With her husband working, Verina pulled a spinning wheel from beneath the stairs and carried it to a the spot in front of the fireplace where Jennifer had slept last night. Jennifer watched, fascinated, as the woman produced fibers tinted a rich violet color. The spinning wheel, a Disney's _Sleeping Beauty_ variety, began turning, and the fibers wound themselves into a beautiful yarn. Coming from Atlantis and Earth, Jennifer had never been exposed to something so rugged and quaint. Now, she couldn't stop watching Verina's hands as she smoothly added more of the fibers to the piece already in her hand.

When she couldn't handle it any longer, she pointed. "May I?"

"Yes." Verina smiled at her. "I do not know what it is called on your world, but we call it _fl__í__es_. Once it is spun, the _gaern_ can be used to make many different things."

Jennifer touched the fibers, her fingers recognizing the feel. "On my world, we call it wool, and it is spun into yarn."

"Do you spin?" Verina asked as she continued working.

"No." Jennifer sat back on her heels as Cam reappeared from upstairs. He headed out the door so quickly that Jennifer didn't get much more than a glimpse of him. But what a glimpse it was! Seeing him out of anything that even resembled his base uniform or Earth clothing heightened the ruggedness of his features and the blue of his eyes. Pulling her mind back to the conversation, she smiled at Verina. "I've known women who spin, but I've never had enough time to learn."

"Your work as a healer must be exhausting at times."

"It can be," Jennifer agreed as she watched the woman work. "But, to be honest, I've just never taken time for much other than my work. On my world, healers must go through extensive training before being able to work. That training takes years, and I was very young when I began. Now, I'm here, in a totally different galaxy, and I have no idea how I'm going to make it."

Verina sat back, letting the spinning wheel stop as she eyed her guest. "You are not as alone as you think. Your people will help you."

"I know." Jennifer shrugged. "It's just. . . Well, they're all. . .trained to handle stuff like this. I'm not."

"You can handle more than you know." Verina smiled and reached into the large basket she had pulled from the corner of the room. She produced a strange object that almost resembled a top. A smooth stick ran through the center, with weights at one end. A hook had been attached to the end opposite of the weights. "You should start learning with this."

Jennifer accepted the object. "What is it?"

"A spindle." Verina smiled gently, her eyes sparkling. "It is the first step in learning to spin _gaern_. When you can master this, then the wheel should not be a problem."

Jennifer let the object sit in her hand as she considered the implications. She didn't want to take anything from these people beyond what she needed, but the idea of learning to spin also intrigued her. She felt a grin begin and knew she'd have to explain much to Sheppard if he ever pushed her.

Verina gave her a stern look as she deposited some lavender-colored wool into Jennifer's lap. "Do not argue with me. You are a friend, and I want to help you any way I can."

Jennifer decided to throw caution to the wind in this one instance. She needed some way to keep her mind from dwelling on last night's revelations. Cam's words were wise, but she wanted somewhere private to think on them, somewhere she could cry or scream or simply stare at nothing for hours on end without someone intruding. With that in mind, she listened closely as Verina gave her the first steps to spinning wool.

oOo

Once the men finished chopping wood, Braeden carried a load of it inside to his wife. He'd just commented that Verina likely wanted to spend the day spinning, something which created an income for the couple, and had left Cam to stack wood against the house. Cam truly didn't mind the physical labor. It kept his mind off of Jennifer for a brief moment in time.

He'd been unable to truly think when she'd appeared in that red dress for Sam's party. But, this morning when she'd come downstairs after her bath, she'd taken on a whole new level of enchanting. Her hair, still wet, had hung down her back and framed her face with drying wisps. The simple brown dress, so reminiscent of medieval movies, put him in mind of a young maid struggling to get by. She had smiled at him, and he saw the slight evidence of tears in the circles under her eyes. But she'd been relaxed, which eased the worry from her face and made her that much more attractive.

A hand on his shoulder startled him, and he whirled, coming face to face with Sheppard. He let out a deep breath. "Sheppard! You nearly took a year off my life."

Sheppard lifted his chin slightly and grinned. "Yeah, imagine my reaction when Ronon appears out of nowhere. It's kinda like that."

"So, what's up?"

"Not much." Sheppard eyed the sky. "Still can't get through this in the Jumper. Carter said she'd make contact today, but I don't know if we're going anywhere."

Cam also looked around. "Yeah, I've been stuck off world before. Been trapped with the Sodan, taken a bunch of people hostage because the gate didn't work, and fought with holographic knights. But I have to say this is a first. Being stuck off world in a blizzard really wasn't my idea of fun."

Sheppard grinned. "How's the doc?"

Cam hesitated for a fraction of a second. "Good."

Sheppard caught the hesitation, but he didn't ask. "She's inside?"

"Yeah." Cam headed for the door, meeting Braeden on the way out. He introduced the two men to each other and waited while Sheppard ducked inside.

Once there, he stopped and stared. Jennifer sat in front of the fireplace, spinning something resembling a top while she fed something looking a lot like cotton candy onto it. Her intent expression, combined with the drying hair curling around her face, captivated him. She looked so. . .domestic. Happy. For a moment, Cam imagined them living in this village, with these people, and being totally content.

Then, he shook himself from his thoughts. When had his feelings for her crossed from friendly into ready to commit? Or was he ready to commit? He'd already considered transferring to Atlantis just to be near her, but he knew a lot of that had to do with his protective streak. This, however, had nothing to do with protection. It had everything to do with the fact that Jennifer was a gorgeous woman. He wanted to get to know her better.

While he'd been staring, Sheppard moved to the two women. Jennifer introduced him to Verina, and the three chattered happily. When Sheppard left a few moments later, Cam followed him back out into the snow. He needed a few minutes to cool off, to let his mind settle and absorb his own surprising realization. He was falling in love with Jennifer Keller, and nothing he did would stop that.

oOo

By that evening, the snow let up enough to allow them to fly back to Atlantis. Jennifer regretfully said goodbye to Verina and promised to visit soon. Verina tucked enough wool to keep Jennifer busy for months into a basket and sent it with them. At the Jumper, Jennifer realized that she wasn't the only one bearing gifts. Teyla carried several blankets for her unborn child, and Amanda had received a small water pitcher.

Back on Atlantis, Jennifer made her way to the infirmary and touched base with Marie. Coughlin rested comfortably and was happy to see that his CO made it back safely. Still tired after her late night chat with Cam, Jennifer left the infirmary and went to the mess hall. Amanda sat alone at a back table, and Jennifer joined her.

"How was your visit?" she asked after she ate a few bites.

Amanda gave her a dreamy smile. "Good."

"Really?" Jennifer took a sip of water. "Do I get to tease you, now?"

"Maybe."

"Why?"

"Our host was a potter." Amanda leaned back in the chair. "Did you know Evan is an artist? The two of them spent hours discussing different ways to paint vases and plates and such."

Jennifer's eyebrows rose to her hairline. "Evan? You're on a first-name basis, now?"

"Yeah." Amanda shrugged. "We spent a lot of time talking last night. Stayed up too late, actually. He's funny when you get to know him. Not at all like I imagined Major Lorne would be. But, to hear him talk about artwork was like listening to a man in love. He's got such. . .love, for lack of a better word, for it that it comes through in everything he says. I never saw it until now. I never _expected_ him to have that as a hobby."

Having seen one of Evan's paintings, Jennifer smiled. "Oh, it's much more than a hobby. His mother sold one of his paintings last year and made a pretty penny on it."

Amanda's gaze sharpened. "You knew he was an artist?"

"Younger sister, remember?" Jennifer waved a hand as if saying "hello." "Anyway, I'm glad he finally let his guard down a bit."

"Oh, you could say that." Amanda grinned happily. "He asked me to go to the Christmas dance with him."

Jennifer blinked. "He what?" Before Amanda could get upset, she squealed. "That's great!"

Rather than commenting on how great it was, Amanda motioned toward Jennifer. "So, how was your time with Cam?"

Jennifer thought about that before she answered. "Not as fun. More needed than fun. We talked. About a lot of things. The Bola Kai. His past experiences with the SGC. Things like that."

"Needed things?"

"Yeah."

"I'm glad." Amanda shrugged. "You were getting ready to explode under the pressure."

"It was nice, though." Jennifer let her smile cover her face again. "I woke up in a much better mood, and I'm kind of hoping I didn't scare him off last night when I had a meltdown of nuclear proportions."

As she talked, Amanda's eyes studied something happening behind her. "Oh, I don't think you'll have to worry about that. He's headed this way."

Jennifer turned to see Cam and Evan both coming toward their table. She gave Amanda an impish grin. "Yeah, and I noticed he's not alone."

Amanda smiled at that, and Jennifer sat back to enjoy dinner. Last night, she'd been surrounded by

strangers who had become friends. Tonight, she was surrounded by friends who had become family. And also with a man who had possibly crossed the invisible line she'd drawn in the sand. She just hoped she'd survive when Cam returned to Earth in four days.

~TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Jennifer had known about the Christmas dance for several days, but she never really thought about it until late the night they arrived back on Atlantis. As she snuggled down into her bed after a long, hot bath, she realized that she'd have to wear the same red dress she'd worn to the staff party. That idea didn't appeal, especially knowing that Evan had planned the ball to be a formal event. She pushed back her covers and sent a quick email to Carter about the problem. She outlined her idea for a solution and hoped that someone, somewhere, would have pity on them. Surely she wasn't the only woman on Atlantis in this situation.

The next morning, Carter appeared as Jennifer and Amanda sat down for their morning planning session. Since the two of them had been stuck off-world for over twenty-four hours, they wanted to go over patient charts and figure out exactly what had happened in their time away. Jennifer found two Snickers on her desk and laughed as she gave one of them to Amanda.

Carter knocked on the door, interrupting the laughter. "Chocolate? I need to find out who has it so I can commandeer it for the good of the base!"

Jennifer laughed again. "Not going to happen."

Carter gave her a surprised look. "You even sound like Cam."

Jennifer hated the blush that covered her face, but she refused to be embarrassed for too long. "What can I do for you?"

"Actually, it's what I can do for you." Carter smiled. "I got your email early this morning and contacted the SGC. I just got a communique back, along with some information. Anyone on the base who wishes to order attire for the ball is able to do so. They'll have to pay for it, of course, and it will arrive just barely in time for the event. But there have been provisions made."

Jennifer smiled a relieved grin. "Thank you, Colonel."

Carter smiled and left them to their work. Jennifer and Amanda chattered briefly about what kind of gown they each wanted, but both of them returned to work with single-minded focus. That evening, however, they sequestered themselves in a corner of the mess hall while they scrolled through image after image of gowns from Earth. Jennifer glanced around and saw several groups of women doing the same thing. Cam had gone off-world with Sheppard, so she didn't have to worry about whether he saw what she picked or not. She wanted something different, something elegant yet sultry. With her short stature and skin tone, that was a tall order to fill some days.

"Oh, look at this one!" Amanda pointed at the image of a voluptuous model wearing a mermaid dress. The black tulle that flared at the woman's knees gave the impression of a mermaid's tail.

Jennifer wrinkled her nose. "Not even happening."

"I wasn't talking about for _you_."

"Word of advice." Jennifer grinned. "Evan is an artist. He _loves_ color."

"Hmm. . . ." Amanda went back to scrolling through the gowns. Jennifer stared over her shoulder, her head swirling as she took in gowns of every color and style. Unfortunately, none of them were what she wanted. They all had too much "bling," as it was called, or too little fabric. Whatever happened to tasteful and elegant? Women like Amanda might be able to wear some of these gowns, but Jennifer Keller just didn't like them.

"Dr. Keller. Dr. Cole." Teyla's voice brought their heads up. The Athosian glanced between the two of them. "Am I interrupting?"

Amanda sat back. "Not at all. We were just deciding on dresses for the Christmas ball."

"That is why I am here." Teyla settled into the chair, rubbing her extended abdomen. "Colonel Sheppard tells me it is a formal event?"

"Yes." Jennifer saw the confusion on Teyla's face. "It's a dance and gathering where we all dress our best. Usually with a lot of sparkle and jewelry, men in uniform, and just a lot of posturing."

"You do not like these events?"

"I've never been to one." Jennifer glanced between the two women, seeing the surprised looks. "What? I graduated high school at fifteen. When did I have time to go to dances?"

Teyla leaned forward. "That is why I have come. I have friends off world who might be able to solve our problems. They are weavers, and their fabrics are highly sought-after. Some years ago, I and a group of Athosians saved their lives. I was told to return if I ever needed anything. I was considering calling in that favor."

Jennifer blinked as the implications came home. "You mean. . . ."

Amanda picked up on her thought. ". . . .custom-made Pegasus gowns?"

Teyla smiled. "I don't know that the gowns would be complete. We might have to make them ourselves, but I happen to know how to get that sort of thing done rather quickly."

Amanda waved a hand. "Depending on the style of gown, it's just a matter of a few straight seams. I could likely get one done in my free time." She shrugged. "I brought my sewing machine from Earth. A hobby I picked up from my mother."

Teyla raised an eyebrow at "sewing machine" but refused to comment. Instead, she stood. "Then, you would like to accompany me?"

Amanda closed the laptop. "Are you kidding? Yes!"

"Very well, then." Teyla turned toward the door. "We leave in fifteen minutes."

Jennifer scrambled to prepare for the trip even though she knew both Sheppard and Evan would have a problem with her going off world without their knowledge. As it was, she didn't have to worry about half of that duo. Evan and his team, minus Coughlin, met them at the gate, fully kitted out and ready to go. "Ladies."

Jennifer smiled at the way his eyes lingered on Amanda for a few seconds too long. "Evan. You know you're not supposed to see these gowns."

"Ah. . .yeah. I'll wait outside. But there's no way I'm letting you and her off Atlantis without an escort." He pointed at Jennifer and Teyla in turn.

Teyla shook her head. "We will be perfectly fine, Major."

"Maybe." He shrugged. "Just humor me. Please?"

Teyla acquiesced with a nod. "Very well."

Chuck dialed the gate, and Jennifer stepped through to a world that was bright and warm. She smiled. "I don't think I'll ever get used to other worlds being on other time-frames."

Amanda nodded. "It is a bit weird."

"Weirder than going off world with your older brother and his girl?" Jennifer couldn't resist the jab at Amanda, given the way the other doctor had teased her.

Amanda glanced at her. "Well, maybe not _that_ weird."

The village looked a lot like the one where Braeden and Verina lived, minus the snow. Jennifer walked through it, trying not to stare at the marketplace that bustled with humanity. Teyla explained that the villagers supplemented their income with healthy trade arrangements with several other worlds. One of those worlds had included New Athos before the Athosians went missing. She led them to a small, nondescript house on the edge of the marketplace. "This is the place. Major, do you mind waiting outside?"

"Not at all." Evan nodded to his men, and they took up positions around the house.

Inside, Jennifer stared at the shelves of fabric in all colors of the rainbow. Amanda wore a similar expression as Teyla moved toward the proprietress of the place. "Bryna."

"Teyla. You have returned." The woman, Bryna, smiled broadly. "And you have brought some friends.

"Yes." Teyla smiled. "This is Jennifer and Amanda. They are healers from Atlantis. We come seeking cloth for a special occasion on Atlantis. A celebration."

Bryna eyed the other two women. "I see." She smiled again as Amanda moved to a shelf holding a variety of blue fabrics. "However, you will not find what you need out here. These are merely fabrics for daily use. I have what you need in this back room."

Teyla followed her willingly, leaving Jennifer and Amanda to decide to follow in their own time. Jennifer's curiosity got the better of her, and she joined Teyla and Bryna. Her breath caught in her throat. She'd never seen so many fine fabrics in her life.

Bryna turned to her. "Perhaps you'll forgive me, Healer Jennifer, but I have a suggestion for you." The woman moved to a distant shelf and produced a warm brown fabric that shimmered gold in the sunlight from the window. She held it up to Jennifer's face and allowed Amanda and Teyla to comment.

Teyla smiled. "That seems to be the correct color."

Amanda merely stared. Then, she grinned. "If you wear a gown made out of that, you'll definitely get a reaction out of Cam."

Bryna frowned. "Cam?"

Jennifer blushed. "My. . .date for the event. He and I have been seeing each other for only a few days, and I'm not entirely sure what will happen when he returns home."

Bryna nodded and proceeded to produce fabric for each of the other women. Teyla ultimately settled on a pale lavender that highlighted her auburn hair while Amanda chose a color that looked to be a mix between brown and a dusty rose. It was an unusual color, but it made her features glow.

Enjoying the chance to turn the tables on her friend, Jennifer grinned. "Oh, I think Evan is going to _love_ that color."

Amanda glared at her. "How about I agree not to tease you if you don't tease me?"

"Too late." Jennifer's cheeky reply earned several laughs as Bryna packaged the fabric for them to take with them. Late that night, back on Atlantis, Jennifer finally allowed herself to envision the gown she'd originally wanted for the Christmas ball. If this went well, then it would be the best night of her life.

oOo

On a world across the galaxy, Cam followed Sheppard through the marketplace as he did his own version of shopping. When Shep had first asked if he wanted to go off world again, Cam immediately asked if there was snow. Learning that the planet currently enjoyed its summer season, he agreed. Now, with the official business taken care of, the guys got down to shopping.

This Secret Santa exchange had really turned into an ordeal. Cam had no idea what to get for Jennifer, and he knew the others struggled with limited resources on Atlantis. At home, he could just run down to the local store and buy a gift card. Not so in Pegasus. In the marketplace, he watched Ronon head toward weapons, Sheppard start looking at something resembling paints, and McKay eye Ronon. Seeing the interest that McKay took in what drew Ronon's attention, Cam suddenly knew why the physicist looked so sick when he'd drawn the Secret Santa name. McKay needed to buy something for a person totally opposite himself.

Grinning at the irony, Cam excused himself and walked toward a booth selling handmade jewelry. As much as he doubted his relationship with Jennifer, he wanted to get something nice for her. Not only as the Secret Santa gift, but also for her to know exactly how he felt. He smiled at the woman in the booth and let a necklace rest in his fingers.

Sheppard appeared next to him. "Jewelry? For the Doc?"

Cam straightened. "Maybe."

"You and the Doc seeing each other officially?"

"I didn't know we needed to make it official." Cam eyed the other man, seeing what was about to happen. "Look, Shep, Lorne already had this discussion with me. The whole 'If you hurt her, I'll let Ronon break your legs' speech, so you can save it."

Sheppard glanced at him. "Oh, I'll add something to that. If you hurt her, I'll also let Teyla follow you to Earth. Even pregnant, she's scary."

"So I've heard." Following the protocol that Carter had explained to him, Cam purchased a beautiful gold-toned necklace with a topaz-like stone hanging from it. He'd give it to her for the Secret Santa, knowing it would bring out her eyes. If he had to, he'd scrounge for something a little more personal. "We done?"

"Yep." Sheppard eyed McKay, who finished purchasing a knife that Ronon had examined rather intently. "Ready to get home?"

"Let's go." Cam pocketed the necklace and let his eyes sweep over the nearby stalls, all of them containing jewelry of different sorts. "Oh! Wait. Give me a few more moments."

He walked over to a stall two spaces away from the one where he'd purchased the topaz and fingered a plain gold chain. Well, nothing about this chain was "plain," but it was elegantly done. Each link in the chain had been shaped into a tiny heart. A matching heart hung from the chain, elegant in its simplicity. Part of him wondered exactly how these people had done such exquisite work, but he refused to ask. He'd wanted to get something that Jennifer could wear every day if she chose, and this certainly fit the bill. By the time he gave this to her, he'd know exactly how he felt about her. Smiling, he made his purchase and ignored Sheppard's grin the entire way back to the Stargate.

~TBC


	10. Chapter 10

The following evening, Jennifer escaped to the kitchen to prepare her Secret Santa gift. She'd once told Teyla she couldn't cook, and she'd been honest. But she could bake. And she intended to put that skill to use. She'd already put a small pound cake into the oven to bake when Evan found her.

"Whatcha doin'?" he asked as he ambled into the kitchen.

Jennifer gave him an exasperated expression. "Baking," she said needlessly.

"I thought you didn't cook."

"I don't cook." She shrugged. "But _cooking_ and _baking_ are two totally different things."

"Really?"

"Yep." She ignored how he opened his mouth to speak and started the mixer as she beat together the butter and sugar to make pecan sandies. When she finished, she reached for the flour. "Baking involves mixing various ingredients together and allowing the oven to cook them for you. There's no standing over the stove, stirring and watching. It's just. . .baking."

"Oh." His expression told her that he wanted to pursue the topic but chose to leave it alone.

Jennifer rolled her eyes at him. "Did you have a reason for coming here?" She glanced over and saw him beginning to answer. "Other than bugging me?"

"Ah. . .yeah, I did." Evan snagged a few pecans and opened a package of chocolate chips as he leaned against the counter. "I wanted to talk to you about Amanda."

She stopped stirring the flour into the sandies batter and grabbed the chocolate chips from him. As she sat them carefully on the counter, she glanced over. "Amanda? You want to talk about _women_?"

"Ah. . .yeah." He grinned. "I have no problem admitting that I'm interested in her. But I'm a little unsure about how she's feeling. When we were back on that planet, stuck in that blizzard, we had nothing to do besides talk. She and I talked about art. Well, I did the talking. But she seemed interested, so I asked her to the dance."

"And now you're wondering if she's really interested or if it was the circumstances?"

"Exactly."

Jennifer actually laughed. "Are you _seriously_ asking me that?"

He waited to answer until she looked at him. When she did, he met her gaze with a level one of his own. "I am _seriously_ asking you that."

She blinked. "Wow. I'm not sure what to say."

"How about answering the question?"

"Give me a moment to adjust to the fact that you, of all people, are a little uncertain about a girl."

"You don't have to say it like that."

"Why not? It's the truth."

Rather than responding, Evan took advantage of her hands being covered in cookie dough as she rolled the sandies dough into little balls for the cookie sheets. He grabbed another handful of chocolate chips. "Thanks, Doc. I appreciate that."

She grinned at his dry tone. "The answer is yes. Though, she thought you were unavailable. Any ideas why?"

"Ah. . . ." He let the silence stretch.

"Evan," Jennifer said in a warning tone.

"I might have allowed the rumor that there's someone back home to spread around the base."

"Evan!" This time, she was indignant.

"What? I got here and had half of the women on base asked me out within the first week. I had to do something!"

She blinked at him. "Was it seriously that bad?"

He shook his head. "The only reason it wasn't worse is because Sheppard was around, not to mention Ronon's recent arrival. If it wasn't for your command over the infirmary, Mitchell would have the same problem. The other women are afraid of you."

Jennifer snorted. "Can't be worse than the Marines harassing every woman who comes to Atlantis until they either say yes or transfer back to Earth."

Evan sobered in an instant. "Jennifer, is there something you're not telling me?"

"No." She shrugged. "The _Daedalus_ didn't bring any new transfers this time around. But, trust me, when they do arrive, any woman without a ring on her finger is fair game. If you're serious about Amanda, you'll have to stake your claim pretty early on just to keep the new guys from driving her insane."

He narrowed his eyes. "Is this why you eat in your office so much?"

"Yes."

"Jen, I had no idea."

"I know." She smiled at him. "Just a hazard of working on a classified military base. There's not a lot of options."

As they talked, she continued working. Rather than swiping more chocolate chips, Evan washed his hands and began mixing up the chocolate-chip-walnut cookies. They continued the conversation as Jennifer pulled cookies from the oven and added more to it. The pound cake finished baking, and she dumped it onto a wire rack so it would cool for the drizzle. Since Evan commandeered the chocolate chip cookies, she set about mixing the macaroons.

Eventually, the conversation wound back around to their respective love lives. Jennifer grinned at Evan. "So, are you getting Amanda anything for Christmas?"

"I thought about it, but I'm not sure what to get her." He shrugged. "I resorted to making the colonel's Secret Santa gift, so I'm thinking about doing one for Amanda, as well."

"The colonel? You're either talking about Cam or Carter."

"How do you know? I could be talking about Caldwell." He grinned at her.

"Not a chance." She smiled at him. "_I_ drew Caldwell's name."

"Well, there's still Mitchell and Carter for you to choose from."

"Yeah, but you said you might make Amanda's gift _along with_ 'the colonel's.'"

"I can't get anything past you, can I?"

"Nope." Jennifer grinned. "But I'm glad to have your help with mine."

"Yeah, cookies are certainly a different idea."

"It was Teyla's idea." Jennifer shrugged. "She told me and Amanda that Athosians don't give gifts unless there's a personal investment. Either they make them, or they save for months to afford to purchase them. But there's something that is invested. It's not like running out to the store and grabbing something last minute. Each gift means something."

"And this cookie tray of Caldwell's?"

"A token of friendship, nothing more."

"So, is Mitchell getting one of these?"

Jennifer blushed. "No." She thought she just might give Cam a kiss for Christmas, but she refused to share that particular thought with Evan. Instead, she smiled at the dough in front of her. "I have something else in mind."

"Anything that puts _that_ look on your face has me worried," Evan joked. He sobered a moment later, though. "You really like Mitchell."

"Yeah, I do." She shook her head. "I'm not sure what I'll do when he goes back to Earth. I don't even want to _think_ about it."

Rather than saying anything else, Evan reached out and pulled her into a hug. Jennifer let one of her older brothers hug away the pain of thinking about Cam's departure. When the timer beeped, she moved away to pull the final tray of sandies from the oven. Evan set about preparing the chocolate chip cookies, and Jennifer took a few moments to compose herself. She cared for Cam, more than she really thought possible, and the idea of his departure tore her heart from her chest. She just hoped she'd be able to let him go when the time came.

oOo

Jennifer took the following afternoon to herself. She spent several hours with Amanda as the other doctor worked to finish two gowns for the Christmas ball that evening. Jennifer's was quite simple, but it required that she be available for measurements and fittings. She'd found herself standing on a chair while Amanda pinned the hem in place to reach the floor, still giving Jennifer's delicate shoes a chance to appear. Before they'd returned to Atlantis, Teyla took them to another world with a rather renowned cobbler. Neither Jennifer nor Amanda knew what a "cobbler" was until he measure their feet and pulled shoes off the shelf to match their chosen fabrics. Amanda had been surprised to find a man who made high heels in Pegasus, but Jennifer refused to question it. She escaped back to Atlantis with a strappy pair of gold heels that matched her fabric almost perfectly.

Now, however, she finished arranging the ribbons on her cookie tray and headed out of her quarters. She'd already spoken to Major Marks, and he assured her that Caldwell was taking lunch in his quarters. She walked to the pre-arranged area and beamed aboard the _Daedalus _as it orbited the planet. Her hands shook as she carried her gift through the corridors, and she hoped this gift would be as well-received as she had imagined. Even if it wasn't, she wouldn't have much time to dwell on it as she needed to get back to Atlantis to prepare for the Christmas ball that evening.

At Caldwell's quarters, she knocked and waited. He answered the door a moment later, looking every bit the dour colonel that everyone on Atlantis knew. "Doctor Keller? What brings you aboard the _Daedalus_?"

"Um. . . ." With him staring at her quizzically, she momentarily lost her train of thought. "We. . .um. . .drew names. For the Secret Santa? And. . .I drew _your_ name." She shoved the cookie tray at him, grateful that it didn't bobble out of her hands. "Merry Christmas."

Caldwell took the tray from her hands, a smile starting to appear. "Thank you, Doctor." He stepped back. "Come in."

Jennifer stepped through the hatch, letting Caldwell close it behind her. She trusted him, but he was still the commander of this ship.

Once the door was closed, he carried the tray to his desk. He tugged on the red bow holding the wrapping closed, and his smile blossomed when he saw the goodies on the tray. "Are these homemade?"

"Yes."

He eyed them and picked up a chocolate chip cookie drizzled with chocolate glaze. After taking a bite, he nodded. "Are you sure you don't want a position on this ship as the cook?"

"Oh, I don't cook." Jennifer let out a nervous laugh. "I bake. There's a difference."

"Relax, Doc." Caldwell chuckled as he finished the cookie. "I think Colonel Carter would have issues if I took her Chief of Medicine from her simply because said CMO can bake." He eyed the other goodies. "What all did you put in here?"

"Um. . .pound cake with chocolate drizzle." She pointed as she spoke. "Coconut macaroons, chocolate chip cookies. The drizzle on those was Major Lorne's idea."

"Remind me to thank him."

Jennifer smiled, relaxing the longer she spoke. "There's also oatmeal-raisin cookies and haystacks."

"Haystacks?"

"Crispy chow mein noodles, peanuts, and raisins mixed with melted chocolate and allowed to cool."

Caldwell grinned and stared at her. "Thank you, Doctor. I really do appreciate this. Though, if news gets out that you brought chocolate on board the _Daedalus_, I might have a mutiny on my hands."

"Actually, _you _brought the chocolate on your last trip from Earth."

"True, but it was packed away." Caldwell walked her to the door. "I really do appreciate the thought behind the tray, though. Thank you, again."

"You're welcome." Jennifer smiled as she left Caldwell to himself. She'd hoped for just such a reaction, but she'd doubted herself for a moment. With her Secret Santa gift delivered, she now only had one thing left to stress about: the Christmas ball.

"Jennifer?" Cam's voice behind her made her whirl on her heel and lose her balance. He reacted quickly and caught only one arm as she slammed into the bulkhead. "Whoa! You okay?"

"Yeah." She rubbed her shoulder, hoping against hope that it wouldn't bruise. Not with the gown she'd just designed. "Sorry. I was lost in thought."

"Visiting the colonel?"

"Yeah." She smiled. "I drew his name for the Secret Santa."

"What did you get him?"

Jennifer listed the different cookies she'd made. When she said 'macaroons,' Cam's eyes lit up. She frowned. "What?"

"Please tell me you saved some of everything."

"Yes."

"Good." He started leading her in the opposite direction than the way she was headed. "Because I have a flight to take, and then I intend to find some of those macaroons." He glanced at her and grinned. "You wanna join me?"

"For a flight?" Jennifer stared at him.

"Yeah, why not?"

"Oh. . .it's just that I'm not good with. . .heights." She shrugged. "And stuff."

Cam stopped walking and turned her to face him, his hands warm on her shoulders. The way he held her made her want to relax. "Do you trust me?"

"What?"

"Do you trust me?" he asked again.

Jennifer stared into his eyes. Cam was a pilot. One who had been trusted with some of Earth's most important missions. If she couldn't trust him, she had no business dating him. "Yes."

"Good." He grinned at her. "Let's go for a flight."

Jennifer raced to keep up with him, her mind churning. She'd just agreed to a flight in an F302. It didn't get much more dangerous than that. At the moment, it escaped her that the _Daedalus_ also orbited the planet. The 302s were smaller, more maneuverable, and more open to space. She swallowed hard and made plans to find a stiff drink when she managed to get back on solid ground.

~TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Cam heard Jennifer let out an awed breath as he banked over the planet. He had to agree that it was quite a scene. One of New Lantea's moons rose over the planet, and the sun highlighted the ocean on the planet's surface. "Oh, yeah. This is cool."

"Yeah," Jennifer agreed breathlessly from behind him. "I'm inclined to agree."

For a moment, Cam wished he could see her expression. He'd sounded the same way when he first saw Earth from orbit. Then, he grinned.

"Do you trust me?"

"What?" She sounded a little distracted. "Ye-e-e-e-e-e-s-s-s-s!" Her answer turned into a squeal as he turned the 302 upside down. He didn't stop, however, and pulled the 302 into a series of barrel rolls. Jennifer's squeal cut off into a short laugh as he righted the 302. Or so she though. He grinned when she gasped as she realized the planet was no longer _below_ her, but _above_ her head. "Oh, that's weird."

"Yeah, it kinda is." He checked his speed. "Ready?"

"No."

Rather than going directly into the next stunt, Cam let the 302 coast for a moment. "Jennifer, if you really don't like this, just say so."

"It's okay." She let out another breath that told him that she was smiling now. "I'm not ready in the way that you're never ready for the first drop on a roller coaster."

He grinned again. "Hang on, Sweetheart. 'Cause this is gonna be cool!" Before she could respond, he flipped the craft into a tight inside loop, changing to an outside loop without warning. Jennifer whooped behind him as he switched maneuvers.

Twenty minutes later and back aboard _Daedalus_, Cam laughed as he steadied Jennifer on her feet. "Let's get you back to solid ground."

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea." She giggled. "I'll never look at roller coasters the same way again!"

"I lost my fascination with roller coasters in flight school."

"After that trip, I can imagine." She eyed him as they beamed back to the planet. "So, what were you doing aboard the _Daedalus_?"

"I got tired of flying the Jumpers that never want to cooperate." He shrugged. "I decided to return to my roots for the afternoon."

"I can imagine why." She glanced at her watch. "I hate to cut this short, but. . . ."

"You have a dance to prep for." He smiled. "I'll see you in three hours."

Cam went his way then, perfectly content with how the afternoon had turned out. While Jennifer might not have been excited about taking a flight with him, she'd certainly enjoyed herself. Her eyes had sparkled when he'd helped her out of the 302, and she seemed to understand his drive to fly. While that wasn't the point of the afternoon, it didn't hurt that she felt that way.

Now, as he returned to his guest quarters, Cam pulled out his dress blues. It had been quite some time since he'd worn his Class As, and he rather looked forward to it. Maybe he could get a reaction out of Jennifer and show her just how he felt whenever she walked into the room.

oOo

In her quarters, Jennifer rushed through a shower. She really should have been back here a lot sooner, but she'd been unable to say "no" to Cam's offer to fly. Especially when he asked if she trusted him. She'd never done anything quite like taking a flight in an F302 before, and it left her feeling a little high from the adrenaline rush. Not that she'd ever admit to that. She'd just say she was. . .exhilarated.

Amanda arrived just as Jennifer climbed out of the shower and threw on a robe. She rushed to the door to admit her friend, who would prepare in her room. Evan had already prepared to pick up Amanda from Jennifer's quarters, and Jennifer resolved to stay completely hidden when that happened. But, for now, she just wanted to see the gowns.

Amanda had worked wonders in just a few hours. She held up the shimmering gold-brown fabric and let Jennifer stare at the stately one-shoulder gown. Thankfully, the gown would only showcase her shoulder, not a bruise like she'd feared. She said as much.

Amanda turned, a confused look on her face. "Why would you have a bruise on your shoulder?"

"Because Cam startled me earlier this afternoon while I was on the _Daedalus_."

"Why were you on the _Daedalus_?"

"Because I was delivering Colonel Caldwell's Secret Santa gift."

"I thought the whole point of that was to remain anonymous."

"It normally is." Jennifer shrugged. "I didn't want to stay anonymous. It was nice to get out of Atlantis for a while."

"Nice?" Amanda raised an eyebrow. "You're positively glowing. What happened?"

"Cam took me for a flight in a 302."

"_What?_" Amanda stared. "Seriously? A 302?"

Jennifer nodded.

"Do you know what I would give to take a flight in one of those?"

"I'll talk to Evan, if you'd like."

"Don't you dare!"

"Okay." Jennifer smiled. She thoroughly enjoyed razzing her friend about dating a man who was, for all intents and purposes, her older brother. She knew that Amanda needed to learn to communicate with Evan. Instead of continuing the conversation, she slipped into the bathroom to begin fixing her hair.

An hour later, hair in place, Jennifer finally felt ready to put on the gown. Part of her worried that Amanda might have made a mistake in the design, but she shook away the worries. Tonight wasn't about worries. Tonight was for each of them to enjoy the Christmas season. As Amanda disappeared into the bathroom to apply her makeup, Jennifer lifted the gown from its hanger and let it fall into place.

The fabric gathered in a small rosette on her right shoulder and draped diagonally across her chest, completely covering anything vital but leaving her left shoulder and shoulder blade completely exposed. The fabric then fell in graceful folds to the floor. Amanda had sewn several tiny gold buttons at the waist, gathering it to form a small train that followed her as she walked. For the first time in her life, Jennifer felt beautiful and statuesque.

"Oh!" Amanda's soft exclamation behind her made her smile. If she caused that reaction from her friend, what would she do to Cam? The idea of rendering him speechless again put a smile on her face as she added the same jewelry that she'd worn to the command staff Christmas party.

Evan arrived first, and Jennifer scrambled to the bathroom so she wouldn't interrupt his greeting to Amanda. She knew that Amanda had designed her own gown with Evan in mind and had done a fantastic job. Tonight, she wore a simple A-line gown that brushed the floor and had a matching wrap should the evening become too cool. As nice as Amanda looked, Jennifer doubted the idea of the evening cooling down. She stood in the bathroom, already bouncing with anticipation for Cam's arrival, as Amanda and Evan spoke softly from the other room. When the door finally closed behind them, Jennifer let out a deep sigh. As happy as she was for both Amanda and Evan, she didn't want to see a man she considered an older brother making eyes at her friend.

Cam arrived shortly after that, and Jennifer stood in the doorway, staring mutely. How could she even respond when the sight of Cam in his dress blues took her breath away? For a millisecond, she wondered if she even belonged next to him. Then, she saw his expression. It seemed to mirror her own.

Finally, he cleared his throat and motioned with one finger for her to spin in front of him. As she did so, he grinned. "Wow."

"That's all you have to say?"

"That's all I _can_ say." He snagged her wrist and pulled her into his arms. "You've never looked more beautiful than you do right now. _No one_ has ever looked so beautiful."

Jennifer let out a deep breath. "You know how to give a compliment, don't you?"

"My mom raised me well." All at once, he returned to the same man she'd known for the last several days. The one with whom she'd fallen in love. The revelation didn't sit well, and she turned away for a moment to collect her thoughts. When she faced him, he held up a hand. "I think this matches better than what you're wearing."

She stared at the necklace he held. An oval topaz-colored stone hung from a gold rope chain. "Cam. You shouldn't. . . ."

"I drew your name." He straightened. "Well, to be honest, I drew _McKay's _name. I traded with Teyla, not knowing she'd drawn your name. So, this is for the Secret Santa. And I don't mind you knowing it came from me."

Jennifer smiled and allowed him to fix it around her neck. The stone fell to just below her clavicle and accented the gown perfectly. "Thank you," she said as she touched the stone.

"Don't mention it." He tucked her arm into the crook of his elbow. "Shall we?"

"Let's."

They joined several other couples for the walk toward the mess hall. Jennifer smiled as she spotted Zelenka escorting a very pretty, dark-haired woman to the ball. And Major Marks seemed to have found a date, as well. Cam commented on the various outfits the women wore, and Jennifer quietly explained Carter's arrangement through the SGC.

"Yeah, that sounds like Sam," he agreed. "Though, from what I hear, it has your fingerprints all over it. Is that where you got this dress?"

"No." Jennifer smiled at him. "Amanda made this gown. Her's, too."

"Remind me to thank her."

"Right after you get her away from Evan." At his startled look, she laughed. "Don't be so surprised. Evan knows when he's found a good thing."

"I never thought Lorne would make a move."

"Being trapped in a blizzard did a lot for that."

In the mess hall, Jennifer stared. The Christmas tree that Cam had brought glowed from a corner, lighting a significant portion of the room. The normal lights of Atlantis had been lowered, and someone— probably Rodney —had rigged a surround-sound system to softly play music through the evening. While Atlantis had its share of musicians, none of them agreed to play live for the evening. So Evan made due with what he had available. And his work had not gone to waste. The place looked like a fairy-land thanks to the thousands of twinkle lights he'd managed to get shipped from Earth. And, in true Evan fashion, he'd hung mistletoe where quite a few people would pass underneath it.

Jennifer leaned toward Cam and pointed out the mistletoe. He eyed her. "Remind me to avoid that area of the dance floor."

She frowned. "Why?"

"Because, if I kiss you, I won't be able to remember which way is up, much less how to get to the door."

She flushed at that, but a quick smile covered her face. "So, I take it this is a better place for a first kiss?" she asked, referring back to their failed ice skating adventure.

He leaned down to whisper in her ear. "A much better place."

Jennifer wasn't able to stop the shiver that went down her spine and gratefully accepted the punch that Cam shoved into her hands. She sipped at it, not really thirsty but looking for something to do. She spied Evan and Amanda with Carter, chatting like old friends, and almost suggested that they join them. Sheppard and Teyla found them first.

"Mitchell." Sheppard turned to Jennifer, and his eyebrows rose. "Wow, Doc. You look. . .amazing."

"Thank you, Colonel." Jennifer smiled. "You look very dashing, yourself."

Teyla touched Jennifer's arm. "This color does, indeed, suit you."

"You knew it would." Jennifer hugged her friend. "I'm glad you decided to come tonight."

"As am I." Teyla rubbed her belly, a subtle reminder of that morning's excitement. She'd come to the infirmary quite sick, and Jennifer had wondered what had gone wrong. It turned out to be nothing more than something Teyla ate that the baby didn't like. "Though I'm not sure I will ever eat French toast for breakfast again."

"I don't blame you." Jennifer didn't say the entire incident had ruined her own appetite for French toast as well.

Cam slipped an arm around Jennifer's waist and motioned to the dance floor. "Shall we?"

She smiled, knowing she'd not be able to get out of a dance with him. Rather than answering him, she turned to Teyla. "Excuse us."

"Of course." Teyla moved to John's side as Cam led Jennifer onto the dance floor. Evan already led Amanda in a slow dance, and Jennifer resolved to enjoy what might possibly be her first and last dance with Cam Mitchell. She didn't want to think about that and let his arms around her waist chase the thoughts away.

For a few minutes, they simply danced. Then, drawn toward one another and caught up in the magic of the moment, Jennifer felt her resolve to stay at a distance melt away. Cam Mitchell wasn't like any other man she'd ever met. If she only got this one night with him, she wanted to make it the most memorable night she'd ever had.

Then, he kissed her, driving every coherent thought from her brain.

~TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Cam forced himself to ease back from the kiss long before he was ready. He wanted to wrap her in his arms, to carry her away from this dance, from Atlantis, the Wraith, and the distance between Pegasus and Earth. But he couldn't. Instead, he stepped back and watched the emotions flowing across her face.

They matched his own, he realized. Jennifer had never been a difficult woman to read, but his ability to see through her moods left him at a distinct disadvantage at the moment. He licked his lips and glanced around. "Let's get out of here."

"I agree."

Rather than making a beeline for the door, Cam led her on a circuitous route that included a stop under the mistletoe. He'd already spied Evan doing the same thing and saw Zelenka and his date headed this way. He figured that, since it was such an obvious invitation to kiss Jennifer in public, he ought to take advantage of it. After another soft kiss, he steered her out the door.

They needed to talk. _He_ needed to talk. Cam had known since their night with Braeden and Verina. He and Jennifer had formed some pretty deep bonds that night, and those didn't go away because they didn't discuss them. If anything, they grew. Jennifer had smiled more since her breakdown, and he had discovered someone who actually understood a fraction of what he'd gone through in his career. That understanding came at a price, though, and Cam knew Jennifer would still face struggles in the near future. He wished he could be there to help her through them.

Like the night when they left the staff party, they walked out onto the pier. The clear night and sub-tropical temperatures made the weather comfortable at this hour, and Cam enjoyed the moonlight on Jennifer's face as she stared into the sky.

"We need to talk." He said it quietly, hoping that it wouldn't destroy the mood.

She turned to face him. "I agree."

For a moment, they stood there, facing each other. Then, Cam drew in a deep breath. "Jennifer, I can't go back not knowing where I stand with you. A few days has changed how I look on life, and I can't just leave things here so unresolved."

"Will it be any more resolved when you walk through the gate tomorrow, knowing that you're leaving me here?"

He took a moment to consider his answer. "Yes." He moved toward her, taking her by her shoulders like he had earlier that day on the _Daedalus_. "Yes they will be, because I'll know where I stand. We'll have made a decision about where we think this is going."

"And where is it going?"

He blinked at her. She wasn't so thick that she didn't understand what he was asking. She knew he meant to discuss it. She simply asked the question to give him permission to voice his thoughts. He rubbed his thumbs over the smooth skin of her shoulders, trying to absorb every sensation that she stirred in him. "When I first saw you, I'd never seen anyone like you. You just. . .captured me, for lack of a better way of saying it. I was intrigued from the first time I met you. And to learn that you're the doctor who went through everything on New Athos was. . . stunning.

"Then, at the staff party, I couldn't believe the jealousy that watching you talk to Lorne caused." He grinned at himself. "I later learned I didn't need to be jealous, but it was there for a moment. Then, of course, we went ice skating. And then, we talked late into the night."

Jennifer covered her face. "Don't remind me. I was afraid my breakdown would scare you away."

"Don't ever think that." He took her wrists and gently pulled her hands away from her face. "You don't know what a relief it is to have someone even come close to understanding how I felt when I dropped that bomb. Don't apologize for that."

"I was worried." She shrugged. "You should know I've never really done this before."

"Done what before?"

"Dating." She shrugged. "Kissing. Everything that goes with it."

He blinked at her. "Wait. You're telling me that was your first kiss back there?"

She smiled up at him and nodded. Her hand came up to touch his face. "And what a kiss it was."

After everything he'd seen in his life, he'd thought himself beyond the ability to be surprised. But, after her confession, Cam stared stupidly. The woman had never even dated before? Were the men on base blind? Or was that by design, given her association with Sheppard and Lorne? He still could barely believe the revelation. "Wow."

Jennifer flushed and took a few steps away from him, her smile falling from her face as she faced out to sea. "Cam, I'm not like other girls. I don't kiss and tell. I don't walk away easily. At least, I don't think I do."

"I never suggested walking away." He joined her, not touching her but staying close by her side. "We can make this work. It'll just take some time and energy on both our parts. But, with Midway, it's not impossible."

"I know." She faced him again, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "I don't say goodbye easily, either."

"We're not saying goodbye." He took her in his arms and held her close. "Not right now."

They stood like that for a long time, each one taking comfort in the other. By the time she shivered from the chill of the night, Cameron Mitchell had admitted to himself that he'd fallen in love with Jennifer Keller.

oOo

Jennifer walked silently beside Cam as he escorted her to her quarters. She didn't want this magical evening to end. When they reached her room, she motioned over her shoulder. "Want to come in?"

"Sure." He followed her into the room, smiling as she kicked off the shoes she'd worn all evening. He loosened the tie on his uniform and shed his jacket, the semi-casual look only heightening his appeal. Jennifer tore her eyes away before she made a fool of herself.

"When do you leave tomorrow?"

"0900."

She glanced at her clock. "It's just after midnight."

"Then we have time for a movie."

Jennifer smiled at the suggestion, remembering what happened last time. She'd hated how awkward waking up to find Cam in her quarters had felt. Somehow, she doubted she'd feel so awkward when this night ended.

"First, I get to say what I want to say."

"Okay." He settled onto the couch and waited for her to join him.

Jennifer sat on the opposite end, twisting her fingers as she tried to pull her thoughts together. "Remember the night you spent here?" When he nodded, she continued. "I didn't want you to leave."

He grinned. "You ran off to the bathroom."

"I didn't know what else to do." She shrugged. "I might seem like everyone else, but I'm not."

"You're _not_ like everyone else."

"Thank you for that, but I know it's not the same." She let out a deep breath. "When I graduated high school at fifteen, I left anything resembling a normal teenager's life behind. College wasn't about parties and friends. It was about studying and trying to avoid the other freshmen on campus. To them, I was the girl who helped them pass tests. They only wanted to be my friends for what I could _do_ for them. When I came here, to Atlantis, that changed. But I still don't do well in social situations."

"You do just fine, in my opinion."

She smiled at him. "I guess yours is the opinion that counts. Of course, I had Colonel Sheppard and Major Lorne looking out for me. They scared off any Marine that got too friendly, and that seemed to spread the rumor that I was protected by them."

"It must have, because you were still single when I met you."

"I _was_ single?" she asked, emphasizing his use of the past tense.

"Yeah." He leaned forward. "Jennifer, I meant what I said. I'm _not_ walking away. The next time the _Daedalus_ brings those pesky Marines, you can tell them you're taken."

The command, not to mention the way his voice lowered as he spoke, sent chills down her spine. She scooted over so that she sat next to him on the couch. "I like that idea."

"So, what are we watching?" He shifted to allow her to cuddle into his side.

"Whatever's in the DVD player," she said. A moment later, she frowned at his laugh as the DVD came on. "What?"

"Nothing." He grinned at the menu for _How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days_. "It's just that, the last time we did this, I fell asleep watching this movie."

"Mmm." She smiled at him. "Want to see if you can stay awake for it this time?"

"Before we do. . . ." He straightened, and Jennifer let him up. As he dug into his pocket yet again, he spoke. "I know I already gave you the Secret Santa gift. But, I found this off world, and I thought about you. I'd like you to have it. A symbol for us."

Jennifer stared at the exquisite necklace he offered. Every link as a heart symbolized so much more than mere attraction. "Cam."

"I mean it, Jennifer." He held out the necklace. "I thought it a few days ago, but now I _know_ it. I love you, and that's not ever going away."

She blinked back tears brought on by not enough sleep and too many emotions. "Cam," she said again. As the movie menu played in the background, he kissed her until she forgot how to breathe. Once he eased back, he pulled her close and pressed "Play" on the remote. They fell asleep watching as Andi Anderson walked into that fateful dance in her gorgeous golden gown.

oOo

The next morning at 0845, Jennifer walked into the gate room and stood in a shadow beneath the control room. She'd neglected to say something to Cam the night before, and it bugged her now. She had managed to hold her emotions and appear even-keeled in the infirmary, but she knew it wouldn't last long.

Above her, Cam finished saying goodbye to Carter and headed down the stairs. He'd already thoroughly kissed her that morning when her alarm woke them on the couch, still in their Christmas ball finery. Now, Jennifer wore her base uniform, the necklace he'd given her late the night before proudly displayed over the top of it. When he came into view, she cleared her throat, drawing his attention.

He walked toward her. "Hey. I thought. . . ."

"Yeah." She pressed her lips together, using the pressure to hold back her tears. "But I have something to say that I should have said last night and didn't."

"Okay."

"I love you, Cam." She tried to smile, but it didn't come out as well as she'd hoped. "I always will. And I'll miss you until we can figure out how we're going to work this long distance thing."

He stared at her, his duffel bag in one hand and the quarterstaff Ronon had given him in the Secret Santa exchange in the other. After a beat in time, he set them aside and pulled her into his arms. Ignoring the gate room, the security guards, and the hum of the city around them, he kissed her senseless. When he eased back, Jennifer could barely breathe. She smiled at him and let her tears show when he said, "I love you, too. And don't forget it."

Moments later, he was gone. Carried away through the gate to a planet in another galaxy. Jennifer drew in a ragged breath as the gate disengaged. The twelve most wonderful days of her life had come to an end. She held her emotions in check as she rushed to her quarters. When she spotted the case of Snickers resting on her bed, along with Cam's note, she sank to her knees and cried for all the things that she might never know.

~TBC


	13. Chapter 13

One month later. . . .

Jennifer stood in the infirmary, once again arguing with Rodney that he could not leave without incurring her wrath. The physicist had fallen down a set of stairs while exploring the city and cracked his head on the bottom step. Jennifer wanted to observe him for the night. While he argued that he only had a minor concussion, she worried that he'd not get the needed rest. The argument went back and forth until the infirmary doors opened.

Jennifer stopped speaking in mid-sentence. She stared as the man she'd missed for four long weeks walked into the infirmary. "Cam?"

Cameron Mitchell stood in front of her, grinning at her shock. "Hey, Jennifer."

She launched herself at him, and he caught her, laughing as she buried her face in his neck. She'd _missed_ this man! More than she'd thought possible. All at once, she wanted to absorb every impression of him so that she'd be able to hold on to it when he left again. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, did you get my recent email?"

Jennifer pulled back, frowning. "Yeah. It said you were being reassigned."

"That's right." He studied her face as he said, "I've been reassigned to the Pegasus galaxy."

"_What_?" Her squeal brought Amanda running from the other room. "Really?"

"Yep."

All at once, tears came to her eyes. She wouldn't be saying goodbye! Not this time!

Amanda walked over and quietly suggested that Jennifer take the rest of the day. This time, she didn't need much persuading. Cam merely grinned and suggested she show him to his new home. Once out of the infirmary and away from prying eyes, he pulled her into his arms for a thorough kiss. When he finally eased back, he smiled at her. "Now, I've missed that!"

"Just that?"

"No." He kissed her again. "But we have plenty of time to explore what else I missed."

For the first few days, Jennifer wore a perpetual smile. Cam was back, and he was staying. That made everything okay in her book. Several hours later, she had to patch up Teal'c and Ronon after their hour-long sparring match. It amused her to see Ronon so irritated, and she knew that he saw Teal'c as encroaching on his territory. For a moment, she shuddered to think of the damage those two could cause if they stayed on the same base for much longer.

Then, shortly after they left, Cam appeared at her quarters, early for the date they'd planned. "I'm headed out on my first mission. I wanted you to know."

Jennifer stared at him. Letting him go this time meant he went into danger. It meant she had to put her desires for a reunion dinner from her mind for the foreseeable future. It means she might lose him just when she got him back. She tried to smile "What's the mission?"

"Gate bridge is down." He shrugged. "I'm going with Shep and McKay to make sure everything's okay on Midway. And that Teal'c and Ronon made it through."

Instantly, she began to worry. Resolved to handle his frequent off-world missions as gracefully as possible, she nodded once. "Stay safe."

After a quick kiss, he was gone. Jennifer returned to the infirmary for the remainder of the day, not really surprised when Cam didn't return that evening. She needed to learn to handle this stress. A relationship with Cam meant she'd have to allow him to go through the gate on a daily basis. Day Two stretched on, and her worry rose. By the end of Day Three, she made her way to Carter's office. "What's happening on Midway?"

"I don't know," Carter said. "We can't connect to Midway. The Bridge is still down. We only know that Colonel Sheppard and his team managed to make it through from another planet."

"Well, couldn't we try to dial in from there?"

"I've already sent Zelenka and Lorne to that other planet with the macro." Carter shrugged. "They can't connect, either. I'm sorry."

Jennifer tried to accept that news gracefully, but she couldn't relax. She'd only just reunited with Cam. He couldn't be gone. Not this quickly. For the moments, she forgot about Sheppard, McKay, and the other men stuck on Midway.

Days stretched into a week without word. By now, she'd resorted to hiding in her office while Amanda dealt with the patients. Jennifer had become too snappy with them to exhibit much in the way of compassion. She hated how she'd become, but not knowing drove her to the brink of a breakdown.

Finally, word came from the _Daedalus_. The Puddle Jumper attached to the Midway Space Station had been discovered, along with Drs. Lee, Kavanagh, and McKay. Colonels Sheppard and Mitchell had barricaded themselves inside the cockpit and spent the days stuck either playing cards, ignoring each other, or sleeping. Even knowing that he'd survived, Jennifer couldn't relax until he arrived back on Atlantis.

On that day, as the trapped men plus Ronon beamed down, Jennifer was on hand to greet them. Amanda, whose relationship with Lorne had deepened into something pretty permanent over the last month, waited to treat the refugees for minor malnutrition. Carter greeted Sheppard while Jennifer launched herself at Cam.

After a long hug, she stared into his eyes. "Don't ever do that again."

"I'll try not to." He kissed her in front of everyone gathered.

Late that night as they sat on her couch and ignored the movie playing, Cam began to talk. He told her of the hours on that Jumper when he thought he'd never see her again. Hours when he'd regretted not making a final step toward a permanent relationship when he first saw her. Then, in the middle of the night, he shoved her coffee table out of the way and got down on one knee. "Jennifer, marry me. I can't imagine knowing that you're not here, waiting for me."

She smiled. All those days not knowing if he'd survived had solidified her feelings for him. She hadn't known what she would do if she was left alone before she fully discovered what this relationship with Cam could hold. She put her hands on either side of his face. "Yes!"

Cam laughed and kissed her, the hours falling away as they planned their lives together. They discussed a long engagement, knowing they needed to spend much more time together before the actual wedding. But a wedding was in the future. As they talked, Jennifer realized how grateful she was that she'd given in to his urging to find the spirit of Christmas in spite of all the bad. Now, when she looked at him, she'd have a reminder of Christmas every day for the rest of her life.

~The End~


End file.
